Places Where You Hide
by captainofswans
Summary: Emma Swan didn't want to fall in love. Ever, possibly. This story is also about a boy by the name of Killian Jones, who might just flip Emma's world enough to change her mind. (Captain Swan High School AU)
1. September

_A/N: So, I actually have quite a bit to say about this story, so bear with me._

_First, I started this back when classes were starting up again in January. I think I saw a photoset, or maybe it was an answer to a prompt (?), on Tumblr, and I got super inspired. As you all know, I love my CS AUs, so this shouldn't be too much of a shock. Anyways, it's actually a mostly-finished product right now, but I'll post the chapters semi-periodically (given that people actually enjoy it)._

_Okay, without further ado, I present to you, Places Where You Hide, inspired by OneRepublic's song 'What You Wanted'._

* * *

Emma Swan didn't want to fall in love. Ever, possibly.

Living in foster homes for only a few months at a time can do that to a person. It wasn't just that she didn't want to fall in love, then. She didn't know what love was, or how to come across it. Love was something she hadn't ever seen in reality, so she spent her teenage life believing it wasn't even real. She glared at anyone walking down the halls at school holding hands, or kissing. She was just disgusted by the idea of being attached. But, maybe deep down, she might have longed for it at some point.

She was just a little undesirable. It wasn't her looks that was the problem, either. Blonde locks flowed about midway down her back, usually tied back in a messy bun or ponytail. Her light, green eyes rarely left the book she was always nose-deep in. Though she was attractive enough to capture the attention of a few boys around school, the moment she opened her mouth to snap at someone was usually when they were put off.

Emma was also brand-new to the school. She didn't know anyone now, though, she didn't know many people back at her old school, either. It changed so often that it was hard to keep up with all of it. People tended to avoid her like the plague regardless of where she lived, knowing that she was only temporary, that she wouldn't stay long. She was frequently bullied (at every school she attended), but instead of cowering away, Emma stood her ground and quite literally punched her way out. That landed her in detention on a Tuesday that would change her view on the world.

This story is also about a boy by the name of Killian Jones. His scruffy, rugged look made girls around the high school swoon, but he didn't desire any of them. Crystal blue eyes appeared under the dark brown hair that flopped in his face, and as many said, could see into one's soul. Killian didn't buy that, though. He tended to shy away from rumors.

He was shyer (outwardly, that is) than most people would expect, with his older brother, Liam, being the athlete star he was. No, Killian didn't care for attention much. He wore his black leather jacket and simple jeans every day to classes, hoping to fly under the radar. After his drunken father committed suicide the year before, he hadn't really liked to talk to anyone but his brother. Liam was the only one who understood. He was the only one who knew why Killian felt so alone.

Killian didn't make good decisions, Liam had told him time and time again. He would choose smoking under the bleachers over gossiping in the hall, earning him his own detention sentence on that same Tuesday.

That's where this story really begins.

* * *

Killian sauntered in, winking at the teacher who was unlucky enough to host detention. She shot him a glare and pointed to an empty chair next to none other than Emma Swan. He offered a smile as he toss his bag down, and she rolled her eyes before looking back down to her book. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Even the simple way she tucked some hair behind her ear was beautiful.

"Hey, you're in one of my classes." He noted with a smile that caught Emma's attention.

"Mr. Jones, there is no talking in detention." The teacher reminded him as she left the room.

"I know." Killian smiled, then turned back to Emma, whose eyes were now fixated on him.

"Don't you dare get me into more trouble than I'm already in." Emma snarled.

"Feisty, are we?" Killian grinned, nearly knocking her book over as he held his hand out, "Killian Jones."

Emma simply stared.

"This is the part where you give me your name, love."

"Do not call me that." Emma snapped.

"If you give me a name, I won't need to." Killian smiled, moving his hand just a little closer.

"Emma."

"Emma…?"

"Swan." Emma mumbled, "Leave me alone."

"Swans… Those are supposed to be graceful animals, are they not?"

Emma rolled her eyes, fighting the urge to just reach over and punch him. She simply took a deep breath and looked back down to her book.

"What class do we share? I know I've seen you before."

"Doubtful."

"Why?" Killian asked, and Emma stopped reading. She glared to him, knowing that he sure as hell wasn't getting the answer.

"C'mon, love—"

"I told you not to call me that."

"Emma." He smiled, "Don't be so stuck up."

"Me? Stuck up?" Emma snickered, then stopped, "That's hilarious."

"Are you saying something, Swan?"

"Can you stop with the nicknames?" Emma groaned. Before he could reply, the teacher came back, and he sat up a little straighter in his seat.

Emma watched him, curious about him. No one had really tried to make any kind of contact with her thus far, and it was… pleasant, sort of. She still didn't want to get in too deep. She knew too well what would happen if she got in too deep.

After detention was over, Emma hurried out as fast as she could, but Killian followed her.

"Want to smoke for a bit?" Killian offered as he strode beside her. Emma raised an eyebrow before rolling her eyes.

She really had nothing to lose at this point, she supposed.

"Sure." Emma replied, following him to the bleachers. He began going as far back as he could, then sat down. Emma sat beside him, taking a cigarette from him and grabbing her own lighter from her pocket. She lit it and drew it out, sighing into the warm air.

"So, you're new here?" Killian asked curiously.

"Yeah."

"What brings you here?"

Emma looked down to the dirt, realizing that she'd have to tell someone eventually.

"I, um, I'm with a foster family." She admitted quietly.

"Really?" Killian asked, understanding how it felt to be abandoned by parents.

"Yeah. I don't talk about it much."

"My parents left me, too, you know." Killian noted, taking a quick drag before sighing, "My mum left when I was young, and my dad killed himself last year. The whole town's said 'Davy Jones had finally lost it'."

"Your dad's name was Davy?"

"It was David, but… People always gave me shit for being his son." Killian said, "Even earned myself a colorful moniker."

"Really?"

"Hook."

"Why?"

"I don't know, to keep up with the whole pirate thing, I guess. I don't care. People don't matter."

"You seemed to really want to talk to me." Emma pointed out.

"I don't know. Something kind of dragged me to you."

"Don't exaggerate it too much." Emma reminded him, "Besides, I don't really do the whole 'friend' thing."

"Oh, and then you just agreed to this to get a free cig, then?" Killian smiled, earning a small smile in return.

"You could put it that way." Emma shrugged.

"I like you, Emma Swan."

"Don't. I really can't do this friends thing." Emma said, shaking her head and rising to her feet to begin walking away. Killian just watched her walk away, until he saw someone stop her. He narrowed his eyes a little, wondering who it was. He didn't put out his cigarette until he realized exactly who it was. Neal Cassidy.

Neal was a senior at the school, and he wasn't exactly the nicest guy around. He frequently stole from convenient stores around the town, and he nearly always kept a bag of pot in his locker. Or in his car—though, he had a different (stolen) one every week.

Killian quickly jumped to his feet and jogged towards her, hoping he hadn't done anything to her. He saw Neal grab Emma's arm, and that's when he decided to step in.

"Hey, she doesn't want to be talked to—"

"I can handle this myself, Killian." Emma snapped, turning back to Neal, "Fuck off."

Killian nearly smiled at Emma's ability to stand her ground. Until a fist met his cheek.

"Where's your big brother, Hook?" Neal snickered as he leaned over Killian, "Not here to defend you now, is he?"

"Hey!" Emma yelled, slapping Neal harder than he was expecting, "I told you to fuck off!"

Neal rubbed at his cheek before scurrying off like a dog with his tail between his legs.

"I told you not to butt in, Killian." Emma snapped. Killian chuckled and rose to his feet, shaking it off.

"I was only trying to help." He replied, rubbing his thumb across his cheek, only to find blood coating it.

"You're an idiot." Emma grumbled, digging in her pocket to find a tissue, then handed it to him, "Here."

"Thanks." Killian smiled. Emma turned on her heel and started walking away again, without another word. Killian held the tissue to his cheek, a smile on his face. He couldn't wait to see her again.

"Killian, what have you done now?" A worried voice asked from behind him. Killian turned to see his brother standing there, then sighed.

"Ran into Neal again."

"Again? Kill, you've gotta be careful." Liam sighed, grabbing his brother's chin and turning his cheek, "C'mon. We've gotta go get that cleaned up before it gets infected or something."

Liam tugged his brother to his car, and Killian got into the passenger seat.

"Why do you have that smile on your face? I haven't seen that smile since Mil—in a while." Liam corrected, starting the car.

"Met a girl." Killian grinned, "She hates me so far, but she talked to me."

"What a development." Liam chuckled, earning a playful shove, "Who is it?"

"Her name is Emma Swan."

"Isn't she the foster girl?"

"I don't think she'd appreciate you calling her that." Killian said.

"Well, I'm thinking of the right girl, right? Long, blonde hair, quiet?"

"Yeah, that's her." Killian sighed, "I don't think she's looking for a relationship."

"That's okay. If you like her that much, you'll wait." Liam said, causing Killian to look over to him.

"You think?"

"Sure. I mean, love doesn't just happen, Killy."

"Don't call me that."

"I'm your older brother. I can call you what I want." Liam grinned, gently punching his arm, "Look, I'm glad you think you can start moving on. I want you to."

"Then stay here." Killian spoke seriously, causing Liam to sigh and run a hand down his face.

"Killian, you know I can't."

"Why not? You don't have to go into the Navy."

"I thought you said you'd come join me next year? We can sail together, Kill. Wouldn't that be amazing?" Liam reminded him with a sincere smile, "I know you don't want me to leave you alone. But, I promise, I'll Skype, text, call, facetime—whatever—with you. I won't leave you totally alone."

"I know, I just… I don't know. The house is going to be a little too empty."

"I promise it won't be any different. You'll be eighteen soon, Kill. Then you can do whatever you want. I'll be sure to buy you enough cigs to get you through the time until you're eighteen." Liam said, making Killian chuckle.

"Thanks." Killian sighed, "I'll still miss you."

"I know you will. I'll miss you, too. But, hey, we'll be together again in a year, okay?" Liam smiled as he pulled into the driveway of their house.

"Yeah." Killian replied, offering a forced smile. He got out of the car, grabbing his bag and heading for the door.

"Killian, wait!" Liam hollered after him. He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face in defeat.

Killian went straight to his room, dropping his bag on his desk and slamming the door. He flopped onto the bed, closing his eyes and thinking. He opened one eye to see the wall of various maps pinned up to the wall. Many of them he drew himself (with Liam's help), making him smile. They were certainly his favorite things in his room, and he wouldn't trade the world for them.

* * *

Emma walked as slowly as she possibly could to get home. Home wasn't really a home. Her foster mother was a rude bitch, and her foster father wasn't ever around, and if he was, he was drinking. There were way too many kids in the small house, but Emma didn't talk to any of them. She simply went to her small closet of a room in the back of the house and read.

"Emma, have you done your chores?" The woman ordered as she rapped on the door.

"Oh, um, no, I'll do them." Emma sighed, dog-earing the page and opening the door.

"You better. Otherwise you won't get anything to eat tonight." The woman replied as Emma closed her door.

"Okay." Emma replied, rolling her eyes when her foster mother walked away. She knew dinner wouldn't be enough anyways—the couple (if you could call them that) only had this many foster kids so they could get state funds from it. Once the kids were there long enough for them to get some good money, they shipped them off to another home. It was one sick cycle that Emma was doomed to.


	2. October

_A/N: Aaaah! You guys have given me such amazing feedback for this story! I love it! So, as you're about to find out, the way this story is set up is through the months. Each chapter is a kind of view into the world of Emma & Killian-usually a pivotal point in their relationship._

_I hope you all still enjoy it!_

* * *

Emma found out quickly that she and Killian didn't have only one class together, but two—US History and Creative Writing, her favorite classes. And, of course, he had to sit beside her. Usually, she humored him with conversation, and even found herself laughing sometimes.

But, today was different.

"Morning, Emma." Killian smiled, sitting beside her, "How are you?"

"Fine." Emma spoke softly, trying to cover her face.

"What's wrong?" He asked curiously.

"Nothing. I'm just, um, not feeling great."

"No, you're hiding something, Emma."

"I'm not."

"C'mon, you know you can tell me anything." Killian said.

"I actually can't." Emma said, continuing to avoid his eyes. Killian bit his lip, then offered a small nod.

"Fine." He said, glancing to her again when she turned away. There was a spot on her cheek that didn't look right. It looked like she had tried to cover it up with concealer, but it didn't cover all of it.

"Emma, what's that?" He spoke softly.

"Oh, nothing. Neal was being annoying." Emma lied.

"He hit you?" Killian asked with wide eyes. Emma didn't answer.

"Emma, did he hit you?" Killian asked, "Or are you lying to me?"

"Why would I do that?" Emma replied, faking a smile.

"Because you hide things. You don't like being vulnerable."

"You don't know that." Emma spoke with furrowed brows.

"Oh, I know you better than you'd think, love. I'm the same way." Killian smiled, then let it drop, "Be honest."

"Why should I be? You never are."

"Don't turn this on me." Killian snapped, "I just wanted to help."

"I don't need help." Emma replied, turning back to her work.

"Fine." Killian spoke with the roll of his eyes, getting back to his work.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent worrying about what Killian said. Or, how he said it, really. _He hit you? _Killian meant it, the concern in his voice was real. Emma could tell that he they were becoming closer, and she couldn't let that happen. She had to distance herself again.

"Emma!" Killian's voice called from behind her as she walked. She simply rolled her eyes and kept walking, picking up her pace. She tugged her hood over her head at the sight of rain, bracing herself for it. Emma closed her eyes and gasped as the rain started pounding on her head, already soaking through the hood of her old sweatshirt.

"Emma!" Killian repeated, "Emma, can we talk?"

Emma looked down, chewing the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. She didn't want him to think that she needed someone. She heard his footsteps pick up over the loud rain, causing her to start walking faster, too. Until he was right beside her. Suddenly, she didn't feel any rain on her head anymore, and when she looked up, she noticed an umbrella.

"Emma, you can't just shut me out."

"I can, and I will. Watch me." Emma replied, picking up her pace again. Killian set his hand on her shoulder, causing her to roll her eyes and stop.

"Killian, I appreciate your concern, but I don't need it." Emma snapped.

"Emma—"

"Leave me alone." Emma said, her voice cracking a little as she turned away.

"All you do is shut people out, you know that?" Killian snapped, causing her to stop in her tracks again. She spun on her heel, tears streaming down her cheeks now, mixing with the rain.

"You know why? Because my whole fucking life has been a series of being shut out. By friends, by foster parents and families, by the whole school—so I've started doing it. I don't have anyone to let in, Killian, and you fucking know that." Emma snarled, walking closer, "And this mark? It's from my foster father. He was drunk last night, and instead of letting him hit one of the kids, I let him hit me. It wasn't from Neal. So, there, you wanted the truth? There's your fucking truth."

She absently wiped at some of her tears as Killian stood in shock.

"Emma, what I can I do to help?" Killian asked softly.

"There isn't anything you can do."

Killian sighed, chewing his lip before looking back to Emma.

"Come home with me."

"What? No, I don't want—"

"Just for a little bit. Liam could drive you to your job today, too, if you want. He wouldn't mind." Killian said, "Look, I'm trying to prove to you that you do have friends, Emma. Well, at least me. I want you to know that even though you seemingly never want me around, I'm here for you. You and I… We're a bit like kindred spirits. We pretend that we like to be alone, we pretend to have our own code, to ignore society. But, deep down, we just want one person. One person to talk to us and change our view about the world. To change the tarnished image we see. So, please, give me one chance."

Emma sniffled and wiped at her tears, glancing around before sighing.

"Fine, I'll come over." She replied, making Killian smile.

"Yeah?"

"If it'll make you shut up and I can be away from that house a little longer, sure." Emma sighed.

"Follow me, then." Killian grinned, beginning to walk towards the parking lot. She followed hesitantly, watching the way he walked. He had some kind of weird swagger that Emma couldn't exactly figure out. He looked like a freaking runway model for God's sake. Emma stopped when she saw him open the door to a fancy-looking car.

"This is yours?" Emma asked.

"Actually, it's mine." A foreign-sounding voice spoke from the driver's seat replied. Emma curiously bent down to see an older-looking Killian sitting in the front seat.

"I assume Killy hasn't spoken about me then?" The man smiled, "Liam Jones, Kill's older brother."

"Liam." Killian groaned as Emma smiled.

"Emma Swan." Emma replied.

"Nice to finally meet you, Emma." Liam smiled as she slid into the backseat.

"Finally?"

"Oh, yeah, Killy's told me all about you." Liam grinned, earning a whack from Killian.

"Please don't call me Killy."

"Why? It fits you in such a lovely fashion."

"Sorry to ask, but where on Earth is your accent from?" Emma asked.

"Ireland. Did Killian not mention that he spent a good portion of his life there?" Liam smiled, "Oh, c'mon, Killy. I thought you got over that."

"Wait, do you have an accent, too?" Emma asked Killian.

"Afraid so." Killian spoke with a sad smile in that beautiful accent. Emma tried not to smile.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Killy doesn't like to talk about life after we moved from Ireland. It wasn't… The greatest, for a while." Liam replied, earning an eye roll from Killian.

"I also sound like an absolute idiot." Killian said, "No one can understand a word I say."

"I can." Emma offered.

"You're the only one." Killian grumbled.

"Don't mind Killian. He's a buzzkill."

"Am not!"

"Oh, really?" Liam grinned, causing Emma to smile. There were times where she wished that she had someone like that, a brother, or sister, to tease, to have memories with.

"Emma?"

"Oh, sorry, I zoned out."

"I was just asking where you worked."

"I work at the grocery store on Main." She replied.

"Fun." Liam smiled.

"Totally. My favorite part of my day."

"Well, I'd be more than glad to take you. What time?"

"Six."

"Need me to pick you up, too?"

"Oh, I couldn't ask—"

"I wouldn't mind at all." Liam smiled, earning a glare from Killian as he pulled into the driveway. Killian got out and started towards the house, causing Liam to shake his head.

"Real charmer, isn't he?" Liam grinned, causing Emma to chuckle as she got out. She grabbed her bag and hurried into the house behind Liam, trying to keep dry.

Killian was at the door with a towel when she walked in.

"What's that?"

"A towel. Never seen one, love?"

"I'm not an idiot." Emma replied as Killian handed it to her.

"I know you aren't." He smiled, studying her, "So, you're getting the tour of the house."

"Killian—"

"This the foyer and front room, and the dining room is over there," Killian smiled, pointing to each room, "And the kitchen and living room are back there. My room is up here."

Emma dried her hair as she followed him up the stairs to a small room. The walls were covered in maps, which surprised Emma a little.

"Maps?"

"Yeah, Liam helped me draw most of them," He shrugged, sitting on the bed, "They're my favorite things I own."

"They're incredible." Emma said, walking closer to examine one.

"I think about them a lot." Killian sighed, "With Liam leaving in a few months, every time I look at them, I think about him."

Emma turned to catch Killian's hurt expression before he offered a sad smile.

"So, why don't you speak with your accent? I'm sure you could get any girl in the school with an accent like that." Emma said, sitting beside him on the bed.

"In junior high, it was a nightmare. Kids used to make fun of me. That's when I separated myself from them. In high school, I decided that I needed to fake an American accent to blend in as well as I could." Killian admitted, "I was born there, I lived there until I was ten. Then we moved over here, and… everything was different. My mum was different, my father drank too much, Liam was less fun to be around… it's like everything shifted, and I couldn't keep up."

Emma knew that feeling. She knew what it felt like to be cast out, to be alone. And she finally understood what Killian meant about being kindred spirits. They were much more alike than she thought.

"Well, I like the accent." Emma offered, nudging his arm and giving him a small smile.

"Yeah?"

"It's different." She replied, "Good different."

"Glad you think so." He spoke in the thick accent, making Emma smile.

"See? I understood what you just said." Emma offered.

"I don't know. It's just kind of… I don't know. I don't like it."

"Isn't it harder to cover it up?"

Killian looked to his hands, and Emma sighed. She glanced up, only to be blinded by light cast onto what looked like a picture frame. Emma rose carefully from the bed and walked over to it, smiling when she found a picture of Killian with another girl. He looked incredibly happy, happier than she had ever seen him, and younger. It wasn't recent—he had to have been in either eighth or ninth grade.

"Who's this?" Emma asked curiously. Killian glanced up to see what she was talking about, his breath catching in his throat when he realized what she was holding.

"No one." He spoke softly.

"You look really happy here, Killian." Emma said, "She's obviously someone important."

"Not any longer." Killian replied. Emma decided not to press any further. She simply went to sit beside him again.

"Emma?"

"Yes?"

"How many homes have you lived in?" Killian asked softly, meeting her eyes.

"Three."

"You're lying."

"So are you."

Killian rolled his jaw before running his thumb over his lip.

"The girl in that photo? Her name was Milah. I loved her… I loved her with all my heart. She was taken from me, and now I'm here. Your turn." Killian said, earning silence from Emma.

"I've lived in twenty-four foster homes." Emma spoke softly.

"Twenty-four?" Killian repeated with wide eyes.

"Yeah. Now you know why it's so hard for me to make friends."

"How long do you think you'll be in this one?"

"No idea. I'm guessing not through next semester. I'll probably be gone by February."

Killian didn't want her to leave that soon. He hadn't even gotten to know her yet.

"February?"

"Yeah."

"I hope you're wrong."

_Me too_, Emma thought quietly.

* * *

Hours ticked by, and the two spent the time talking quietly. Liam ordered Chinese food before Emma's shift, then drove her to the store.

"Can I ask you a question?" Emma asked as he drove.

"Yeah, what's up?" Liam asked.

"Killian has a picture of him and this girl in his room… Milah, I think her name was?" Emma said, "He seemed upset when I asked about her."

"She was Killian's everything throughout junior high. The two were absolutely inseparable, and she was the only one who didn't care that he was a little different. They started dating early in high school, but she, um, was diagnosed with cancer early in their first year. It was too far along for doctors to do anything about it. Killian was at her side throughout all of it, and she passed away that spring. He never really recovered, and he started getting into a lot of trouble. I buy him cigarettes so he'll at least stay sort of in line. They keep him from getting in trouble with the police, at least. I'm not surprised he didn't tell you, so please don't tell him you know."

"I won't. I'll keep it between us."

"Thanks." Liam said, as he parked the car, "I need to say something."

"Okay."

"Do you know how happy you make him?" Liam asked, and Emma shook her head, "He's… He's changed a lot since he met you. He's smiling more, he's talking more—hell, he hasn't gotten into much trouble lately—you're good for him."

"Liam, I appreciate that, but I can't date—"

"Don't have to. Just… Stay?" Liam asked, causing Emma to glance over to meet his blue eyes that matched his brother's.

"Please, Emma. He needs stability."

"I'm the last person he should be coming to for that." Emma admitted, "Liam, I can't. I'll probably switch foster homes next semester."

"For now, then?"

Emma offered a small nod, causing Liam to lean over and hug her.

"Thank you."

"I'll try." Emma whispered.


	3. November

_A/N: So, this was supposed to be up a few days ago. But, I landed myself in the ER, which made it impossible to post this chapter. I'm fine now, so please don't worry!_

_Anyways, I think you all will enjoy this chapter. Really, really enjoy it._

_As I wrote this one, I listened to 'Won't Say I'm In Love' from Hercules, 'Find You' by Zedd, and 'Armor' by Landon Austin. Enjoy!_

* * *

Killian had asked her if she would go to the dance with him. She turned him down.

She ended up somehow agreeing to go with Neal, and Killian went with some girl from their History class. Neither lasted long.

As soon as Killian saw her blonde hair, his heart stopped. She was wearing a beautiful, scarlet red dress that had was tighter than Killian would have pinned her to wear. It fit her perfectly, and as soon as he saw her, he knew he had to go ask her to dance.

"Emma, you look... Wow." Killian smiled, staring at her.

"You look pretty good yourself." Emma replied, allowing herself to smile.

"Give me one dance?" Killian asked, holding his hand out.

"I'll humor you." Emma smiled, taking his hand. Something in her chest suddenly felt warm, but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. It was comforting.

Killian stopped in the center of the dance floor, offering his hand to Emma.

"May I?"

"Yes." Emma caught herself giggle as Killian pulled her close, setting his hand on her waist. She closed her eyes and followed his simple turns, hoping that maybe they wouldn't ever have to stop.

"I can't believe you turned me down, but allowed that Neanderthal to take you." Killian teased.

"You didn't ask the right way."

"What the hell does that mean?" Killian chuckled, tugging away enough to see her confused expression. Emma wasn't expecting that question.

"I don't know. You just didn't ask the right way."

"And the thief did?" Killian asked.

"If it'll make you sleep better at night, yes, he did."

"I find that hard to believe, love," Killian smiled, "Because look where you are."

Emma glanced down to his arms around her, her mind telling her, urging her to get away. But, she couldn't. It felt right to be there.

"This doesn't mean anything." Emma replied.

"Oh, really?" Killian asked with a raised brow, "I think it does. Emma, you may be able to lie to others, but not me. I see right through your lies."

"You think you know me so well, don't you?" Emma snapped.

"I do. I think I might know you better than you know yourself, Swan."

"Oh, that's hilarious." Emma replied.

"Why? Because it's true?" Killian asked, "I told you-we're more alike than you seem to believe, love."

"No, we're not."

"Do you have any evidence to support it?"

"Do you?"

"Ah, see, I asked you first." Killian smiled, "Just promise me one thing."

Emma looked away for a moment before refocusing on Killian's ocean eyes.

"Promise me you'll try to see yourself for who you are, instead of what others think. The more you think about them, the more you lose yourself. I think we'd both be upset to see that happen."

Emma was quiet as she studied his expression, thinking about what he said.

"Do you want to keep dancing with me, or would you like me to turn you back over to the thief?" Killian asked, and Emma rolled her eyes before closing the gap between them again, "That's what I thought."

The two turned in circles for only a few songs before they picked up in tempo.

"Still want to dance?" Killian asked, "I can teach you how."

"I know how to, believe me." Emma replied with what seemed to Killian like a smirk.

"Show me then, Swan." Killian smiled, watching Emma started swinging her hips to the beat. After a moment of watching her, he couldn't help but jump in himself. Emma laughed at his attempt, continuing to dance with him. For once, she felt like she could finally be free. And that was a feeling that couldn't be matched.

* * *

Emma eventually had to start dancing with Neal to appease him, but it was nothing like dancing with Killian. It didn't feel the same. It hurt to look across the ballroom to see Killian laughing and smiling with the girl he had brought to the dance. She should have said yes to him in the first place, she thought.

Later in the night, when they were getting ready to leave, Killian couldn't help but talk to her once more.

"Emma, you seriously look beautiful tonight. I... I had a really good time." He offered with a smile.

"Thanks." Emma blushed, "I had a good time, too."

"Need a ride home? I stole Liam's car." Killian smiled.

"I thought you were against stealing?" Emma teased with a raised brow.

"I am, but this is my brother we're talking about. He doesn't care."

"Fine, you can drive me home." Emma replied with a smaller smile.

"Follow me, then." Killian grinned, holding his hand out for Emma to take. She took it with flushed cheeks, following him out into the chilly air.

"God, it got really cold." She grumbled, walking beside Killian. He let go of her hand and shrugged off his jacket, then set it on Emma's shoulders. She smiled a little at the act, wrapping her arms around herself to keep warm.

"Thank you."

"Of course." Killian smiled. He led her to the car and opened the door for her.

"Now, you're overdoing it."

"No, I'm being kind." Killian replied, shutting the door and getting in on the driver's side. He started the car and turned the heat up a little, watching Emma settle in.

"Let's get you home, then." Killian smiled, shifting gears and pulling out of the parking lot.

As he started driving down the road, Emma noticed that he passed her house.

"Killian, you passed my house."

"I know. I'm taking you somewhere special." Killian replied, glancing over to her, "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

"Why are we at your house?" She demanded. Killian sighed, then rolled his eyes as he pulled into his driveway.

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Please?" He asked. Emma sighed and did as he told.

"I'll lead you in the right direction, okay?"

"Fine."

He turned the car off and hurried around to help Emma out. He led her to the front door and unlocked it, flipping on a light as he walked in. He led Emma to the kitchen, and brought her to the counter.

"You can open them now." Killian said, waiting for her reaction.

Emma opened her eyes to see a single cupcake sitting on the counter with a candle in it.

"Happy Birthday, Emma."

Emma opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again.

"How did you know?"

"Facebook."

"Did I put it there?"

"Yeah." Killian smiled, "Well, make a wish, Emma."

Emma closed her eyes and made a quick wish before blowing out the candle.

"What'd you wish for?"

"I can't say." Emma smiled.

"Of course not." Killian chuckled, "Sorry I kind of sprung this on you. I just wanted you to be able to spend it with someone who cares about you."

"That was my wish last year." Emma spoke softly.

"Looks like it came true, then." Killian grinned, "Are you going to eat it? If not, I will."

Emma offered a quiet laugh before shoving his arm gently. She undid the wrapping and brought it to her lips. She smiled at the taste of rich chocolate, a taste she hadn't had in a long time.

"You chose well." Emma smiled, rubbing her thumb along her lips to get any excess chocolate icing off. She took a few more bites to finish the cupcake off with a smile.

"Yes, well, I'm kind of a mind reader." Killian grinned, "Glad you liked it."

"I loved it, really." Emma spoke softly, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Alright, let's get you home." Killian replied with a half-smile.

"Thank you, again."

"Of course."

* * *

Killian drove her back to her house, and walked her to the door.

"I know it's not much of a birthday present, but if you'd like to go to the movies with me tomorrow, I'm going to see some new action movie." Killian suggested with a smile.

"I'd like that a lot, actually." Emma smiled, tucking some hair behind her ear.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. At least it'll get me out of this house." She replied.

"Right. Well, the movie's at three-thirty, so I'll pick you up at three?"

"I'll see you then," Emma smiled before leaning over and kissing his cheek, "Thank you, again."

"Of course." He smiled back, watching her go into the house. Killian rubbed his cheek where she kissed him as he walked back to his car, his smile growing wider.

As soon as he got home, Liam asked how the night went, and Killian told him everything. Liam couldn't help but smile at his brother's obvious happiness.

* * *

The next afternoon, Killian arrived to Emma's foster home to see her sitting on the curb.

"Need a ride?" He teased. She glanced up and offered a quick smile.

"Hey." She replied, rising to her feet.

"Everything okay?"

"Fine. I just, um, I was waiting."

"Alright," Killian replied, he had learned not to ask, "Let's go see that movie."

He drove them to the theatre and bought the tickets (Emma protested, but he didn't let her pay). The two sat in the very back row of the mostly empty theatre, away from anyone else.

"This is my favorite row." Killian spoke with a smile.

"And why is that?" Emma asked.

"Because you can see everything. Nothing's in the way. You can do whatever you want back here."

"I see your point." Emma replied with a quick smile, stretching out her legs in front of herself and leaning back in the chair.

The movie started, and Emma couldn't stay focused on what was on the screen. She could only think about Killian's gestures over the past two days, and how... free it felt to be truly cared for.

Apparently he couldn't stay focused either, because eventually, he leaned over and pulled her close. Their lips crashed together, and Emma didn't know what to do. She wasn't even sure if she liked him like that, but apparently, he did.

After a moment or two of slightly freaking out, she settled in, learning quickly. Killian's lips were softer than she had expected, with his usual ruggedness, and they tasted like mint, another surprise to Emma. She couldn't believe what she was doing-but, she didn't exactly want to stop it, either. She didn't want it to ever end.

Killian tilted his head a little, keeping Emma's lips firmly pressed to his. He couldn't help but smile into her lips, moving one hand to her hair, and the other to her waist. Emma didn't know where to put her hands, but instinctively moved them up his arms and into his thick, dark hair. She gently tugged at the surprisingly (_lots of surprises_, Emma noted) soft hair at the nape of his neck, not ever wanting to let go. Until she realized what she was doing and tugged away.

"I-I need to go." She sputtered, hurrying out of her seat and down the stairs. It took Killian a moment to realize what was going on before he took off after her. He burst out of the doors, only to see her sitting on a bench, her face in her hands.

"Emma?" Killian asked, walking to sit beside her.

"Killian, I—"

"That didn't mean anything if you don't want it to. I just… I had to know what it felt like." Killian said, "I'm sorry, Emma. I think I'd understand if you didn't want anything to do with me."

"That was a one-time thing, okay?" Emma asked, glancing up and meeting his bright blue eyes.

"Okay." Killian nodded, then smirked, "Did you enjoy it at least?"

Emma furrowed her brows and whacked his arm.

"Can I take that as a 'yes', love?" Killian smiled.

"No." Emma laughed.

"I love your laugh."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but that won't make me like you any better." Emma said, raising a brow at him.

"Ah, so you do like me, even just a little bit."

"If that'll make you sleep better at night."

"Well, c'mon, then. Let's go. The movie was a bust anyways."

"Yeah, no offense, but I'm picking the movie next time." Emma smiled.

"Oh, so there_ is_ a next time?" Killian smirked.

"We'll see." Emma replied, rising to her feet and sauntering away, leaving Killian sitting in awe.

Emma would always be a mystery, it seemed. And Killian liked that.


	4. December

_A/N: First things first (I'm the realest-sorry, I had to), I decided to go ahead and finish out the 'year' for you guys, since I couldn't get the last chapter posted in a timely manner._

_Okay, so I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm not entirely sure how the foster care system works. Of course I did my basic research, but I probably have stretched the 'rules' a little bit to make the story go in the direction I wanted it to. I hope you enjoy it regardless!_

_Listened to: 'How To Save a Life' by The Fray, 'Emma's Song' from the OUAT Soundtrack, & 'Arms' by Christina Perri._

* * *

"Liam, I need to talk to you, like right now." Killian said as he approached his brother.

"I'll talk to you later, yeah?" Liam smiled to whoever he was talking to, "Kill, I was talking to someone-"

"Emma isn't here today."

"Kill, really? She's probably sick. Everyone is." Liam sighed.

"No, that's not the problem. I texted her three hours ago, and she never replied." Killian said, "She could be hurt, Liam."

"Killian, we can't just leave school-"

"Please, Liam." Killian pleaded, the same way he had years ago when Milah was getting sicker.

"Fine, c'mon." Liam sighed, motioning his brother to follow, "Keep trying to contact her, okay?"

"Okay." Killian nodded.

* * *

Liam drove to Emma's foster house, pursing his lips at the gross look of it.

"Can you come with me?" Killian asked, and Liam nodded. He followed his brother up to the house, waiting for him to knock.

"No one's answering." Killian spoke quickly, his accent bleeding into his words. Liam reached over and jiggled the handle, only to find it open. He looked to Killian before taking a cautious step in. Killian followed behind, unsure of where she might be.

"It's freezing in here." Liam grumbled.

"Emma?" He asked, ignoring his brother and peeking into every room, "Emma, where are you?"

He heard a noise from behind him, a noise that sounded a lot like a whimper. He whipped around, unsure of where it came from.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah." Liam said, glancing around.

"Emma, are you in here?" Killian asked. The noise was repeated, and Killian had determined that it had come from the closet. He carefully walked to the door, opening it slowly. A body tumbled out, and the blonde hair gave it away that it was definitely Emma.

"Emma!" He exclaimed, gently turning her over. He nearly gagged at how much blood covered her face, mainly around her temple. Bruises littered her arms, and she was paler than usual.

"Emma, oh, Emma!" Killian cried.

"Killian, she needs help. We need to get her to the hospital." Liam said. Killian nodded quickly, gently lifting her off the ground. She was limp in his arms, entirely unmoving.

"You stay in the backseat with her, okay?" Liam demanded, "Keep her warm."

"Okay." Killian spoke softly, trying his hardest not to cry. He carried her out to the car, carefully crawling into the backseat. He brushed some of her matted hair back, bloodying his own hands.

"Emma, you'll be okay. You're safe with me." Killian whispered, wrapping his arms tighter around her body. He heard his brother calling the hospital, telling them what was going on.

"Liam, she can't go back to that house."

"I know. We'll work something out, okay? For now, we've got other things to worry about." Liam reminded him, trying to focus on driving.

"Emma, stay with me, please." Killian whispered, a tear dripping onto her forehead. He brought her cold body closer to his, hoping to warm her up.

"Liam, she's really cold."

"We're almost there, Kill. I promise." Liam said, "Just try and hang in there."

Killian closed his eyes, letting more warm tears trickle down his cheeks, hoping, praying, that Emma would be okay. He didn't know what he'd do if he lost her the way he lost Milah. Liam finally pulled into the hospital, and parked to help Killian and Emma out of the car.

"Go take her to the ER. I'll find somewhere to park, okay?"

"Okay." Killian nodded, bolting for the door and hurrying inside, his tears stinging on his cheeks.

"Emma Swan?" A nurse asked him.

"Yes, she needs help as quickly as possible." Killian spoke as calmly as he could, his accent coming out again. The nurse left and came back with three others and a stretcher. Killian hesitantly laid her down, trying his hardest to be careful. They rushed her away, leaving him standing in the middle of the waiting room. He couldn't even sigh with relief-he knew that even though she was here, they couldn't necessarily save her if something were to happen. He knew they would try, but that meant nothing.

To get his mind off everything, he decided to go to the bathroom and wash the blood off his hands. As soon as he got to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, he broke down. He'd done this before-well, minus the blood-he'd been in the hospital bathroom, trying to find somewhere to blow off steam, to cool down, to just think alone. This was exactly like Milah.

And that's what scared him.

So, he scrubbed his hands until they were raw, trying his hardest to get any trace of Emma's blood off them. Tears flooded his eyes, his chest erupting in sobs that he couldn't control. Emma was all he would have when Liam left. If he lost her, he lost any and all connections to the outside world.

"Why did I know I'd find you in here?" Liam's voice asked from behind him. Killian looked up from the sink, staring at his brother.

"You know me too well, I'm afraid." Killian replied, making Liam smile.

"Any word on her?"

"None." Killian replied with a sniffle, "I can't lose her, Liam, I can't..."

"I know, Kill. I know." Liam spoke softly, tugging his brother into his arms, "You won't lose her. She'll be okay."

"I hope you're right."

"I am, Killian. I know I am." Liam replied, then tugged away with a smile, "Now, let's go wait where normal people wait."

"Are you calling me abnormal?" Killian asked, falsely offended.

"Of course not." Liam chuckled, wrapping an arm around his brother's shoulder and leading him out of the bathroom.

The two brothers waited for only an hour or so (that felt like a lifetime), before a nurse came looking for them.

"Are you here for Emma Swan?"

"Yes, ma'am. We're her... friends."

"Good news is that she'll be alright. Trauma is expected, but for the most part, she'll be okay."

"And the bad news?" Liam asked.

"Once she's fully conscious, the police are looking to file a report."

"Oh, god, the police are here?" Killian mumbled.

"Thank you. Can we go see her?"

"One at a time."

"Kill, you go first." Liam said, to which he nodded. He walked down the stark white hallway, hoping that she'd be awake. He hated those white walls-it only reminded him of Milah. That's all the whole place reminded him of, and they weren't great memories.

Once he found the room, he carefully opened the door to see Emma lying in the bed, seemingly staring up at the ceiling.

"Emma." Killian breathed, causing her to look over.

"Killian?" She replied shakily. He hurried over to the bed and gathered her into his arms, the pads of his fingers digging into her bony back.

"You terrified me, Swan."

"How did I get here?" She asked, and Killian sighed and tugged away.

"Liam and I brought you here. We found you in a closet. You were... I don't even know." Killian said, "Do you know what happened?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Emma replied softly.

"God, I'm just glad you're alive. I thought you'd left me."

"Never, Killian." She whispered, pressing a kiss to his ear.

"I do have some bad news for you," Killian said, carefully tugging away and meeting her eyes, "The police want to file a report."

Emma offered a quick nod, causing Killian to move his hands to the sides of her neck.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, changing the subject.

"My head hurts, my whole body aches." Emma breathed.

"Don't worry. The doctors will give you some medicine that'll make it go away, Stitches." Killian smiled.

"Great, another nickname." Emma teased with a small smile.

"Always another nickname, love." Killian grinned, carefully brushing some of her bangs out of her face, "I ought to go, I suppose, so the police can come talk to-"

"Could you stay when they talk to me?" Emma asked carefully, "I'd feel... safer, with you here."

"Of course, Emma." Killian replied, taking her hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze.

* * *

The police came to talk to her (and luckily none of them recognized Killian's face), and the story unraveled. Her foster father had come home the night before, drunk out of his mind, and went on a rampage when Emma dropped a dish she was cleaning. Emma had obviously taken the worst of it, though she thought that other kids may have gotten hit as well.

"You will not be living there any longer, Miss Swan. We'll have it sorted out, and you'll be placed in another-"

"Wait, she can live with my brother and me. He's eighteen, I'm sixteen. We're good friends." Killian interrupted, "I can go get my brother. I know that he won't have any kind of problem having her stay with us."

"Oh, Killian, no, I-"

"I'll be right back." Killian spoke quickly, hurrying out of the room and down the hall.

"Liam!" Killian called out as soon as he got to the waiting room. His brother quickly rose to his feet, confused.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I need you in Emma's room before she makes a really stupid decision." Killian spoke out of breath.

"What?"

"Just come with me." Killian said, turning on his heel and walking down the hall. Liam followed, worried about what happened.

"Would you like to fill me in on what's going on?" Liam asked.

"Emma needs a new place to stay." Killian said, stopping before he reached door.

"Kill-"

"Emma can't go. She'll live somewhere else if we let the police decide her fate. I can't lose her, Liam." Killian pleaded, "Liam, please."

"Is it even legal?"

"I think so. I mean, can't you technically move out when you're sixteen? She's seventeen."

"I'll talk to the officer and see what I can do, okay?" Liam asked, walking into the room with Killian following close behind.

Liam spoke with the police outside the room, and Killian stayed with Emma.

"Killian, you've done too much for me." Emma whispered, shifting a little where she was lying on the bed.

"No, I haven't. You've given me everything, and I ought to repay that favor." Killian replied with a smile. Emma simply closed her eyes, a small smile on her lips.

"Killian, I am so glad I met you." She whispered.

"Meeting you meant coming back to life. I'm relieved I met you." Killian replied just as softly, gently stroking her head.

Only a few moments passed before Liam came back into the room, smiling.

"Looks like you're stuck with us, Swan." Liam grinned, causing Emma to sit up and hug Killian tight. He hugged her back with a laugh, finally allowing himself to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank you so much." Emma whispered.

"Of course, Emma." Killian whispered, "You know I'd do anything for you."

"I would do anything for you, too." Emma replied, tucking her head into the indent of Killian's neck.

"I don't know how long you must stay here, but I will try and get your room together before you're released, okay?" Killian asked.

"You're sweet. Thank you." Emma spoke softly.

"Of course." Killian replied, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

Killian was who was best for Emma, whether she wanted to accept it or not. He was the only one who had ever cared this extensively about her. And, though she'd never admit it, that meant the world to her.


	5. January

_A/N: Hello, loves! I hope you're all doing well and enjoying the story still! I've gotten so many lovely reviews—I love you all so much and all of the sweet things you have to say about this story! This one is seriously one of my favorites I've written, so I love all of the support. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as well!_

_As I wrote this one, I listened to 'Laughter Lines' by Bastille, 'Home' by Gabrielle Aplin, 'Atlas' by Coldplay & 'Carry On' by Valencia. Enjoy!_

* * *

January meant that Liam had to finally leave. Killian wasn't ready to let him go, and he frequently woke up with nightmares about it.

Emma had her own bouts of nightmares, so after a few nights, she started sleeping in Killian's bed with him, per his suggestion. They had made it clear that it was just in case one had a nightmare, and that it meant nothing past that. Most mornings, Emma would find herself enveloped by his warm body, and this morning was no different.

"Morning, Emma." He whispered, brushing her long bangs behind her ear.

"Morning." She mumbled in response.

"He's actually leaving today, isn't he?" Killian sighed.

"Yeah." Emma nodded, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I guess we should grab something to eat before we leave for the airport."

Emma simply nodded, sitting up and stretching before slipping out of the bed. She stretched once more, and Killian couldn't help but smile. He knew they still weren't technically together, but somehow, that didn't matter.

The two wandered into the kitchen together, finding Liam sitting at the table with his uniform on.

"You look great, Liam." Emma smiled. He looked up with a smile, hurrying over to hug both of them.

"I'm going to miss you two troublemakers." He whispered.

"We'll miss you, too, Liam." Killian sighed. Liam tugged away with a smile, chuckling when he noticed both of them pouting.

"I'll be back before you go back to school. Just wait until then. It'll be like I never left." Liam smiled, "With school, each other, and your jobs, I'd say you both will be too busy to even notice I'm gone."

"No, we'll notice." Emma smiled, "We'll both miss you more than you know."

"I'll miss you guys, too, I promise. But, we've Skype, and FaceTime, and all that good stuff." Liam grinned, "I promise it'll be like I never left."

"Liam, can I talk to you alone?" Killian asked.

"Sure." Liam replied, turning to Emma with a grin, "You know where the cereal is."

"Of course." She offered a small smile, sitting at the table.

Killian dragged Liam up to his room to give them as much privacy as they could get, closing the door behind himself.

"Killy, this isn't a good time to talk me out of this."

"I'm not trying to, I just... Liam, I have had so many people leave my life, and I don't want you to be on that list." Killian replied, his eyes watering.

"Killian." Liam sighed, tugging his brother close.

"I can't lose you, too."

"You won't. I won't die. I won't leave you. I promise." Liam whispered, "I cross my heart, Kill. I'll be back in August."

"I'm going to miss you so much." Killian sobbed.

"Please don't cry, Kill. In a year, you'll be with me, remember? We'll do this together." Liam reminded him.

"I don't want-"

"Killian, I've got to go. This is something I have to do." Liam tugged away, holding into his brother's shoulders tightly.

"I know." Killian nodded, wiping at his tears.

"Be strong for me, okay, Kill? Emma needs you to be. I need you to be." Liam said, then glanced to his watch, "We need to get going."

"Okay." Killian nodded, following his brother downstairs again.

"When are we leaving?" Emma asked.

"In like ten minutes." Killian sniffled.

"I'll go get ready, then." Emma spoke with a quick smile as she hurried to her room.

"Go get ready, Kill." Liam smiled, patting his back, "I'll pack the car."

* * *

The three were ready in ten minutes, as planned, so Liam drove them to the airport. The car was weirdly quiet, but no one wanted to be bold enough to break the silence.

Emma nearly reached over and grabbed Killian's hand multiple times, but she couldn't bring herself to. She knew this was going to be rough for him, and she didn't know if she could handle seeing him upset. She was going to have to, though, because after Liam departed, Emma would be the only one he had left.

"Alright, I guess I need to get going." Liam spoke with a comforting smile as he stood outside the airport with his suitcase.

"Good luck." Emma smiled, laughing when Liam hugged her tight.

"Take care of him, Emma." Liam whispered, "He'll take care of you."

"Of course." Emma replied with a smile, tugging away. Her cheeks blushed pink when Liam kissed her cheek, and she glanced away just in time to catch Killian's eye roll.

"Come here." Liam smiled, hugging his brother tight.

"Please be safe."

"Of course, Killy. Just for you." Liam whispered, pulling away with a wide smile.

"Keep Killy here in check, will you?" Liam grinned to Emma.

"I'll try my hardest." Emma giggled, causing Killian to smile.

"Alright. I'll see you in a few months—"

Killian lunged forward to hug his brother again, this time tighter and with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Be safe, please." Killian whispered, "Come home."

"I will, Killian. I cross my heart." Liam replied softly, tugging away, this time with a sad smile, "Promise."

Killian nodded, wiping harshly at his tears before taking a step back. Emma set her hand on his shoulder as Liam began walking away, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"He'll be okay, Killian." Emma spoke softly, causing him to look back to her with a half-smile.

"Thank you, Emma."

"Of course, Killian." Emma smiled, laughing when he hugged her tight. She held on, closing her eyes tight, hoping that he would be okay. She wasn't sure how to mend a broken person.

* * *

Emma drove them back to the house, and Killian immediately retreated to his room. Emma sighed and leaned against the counter, unsure of what to do to make him feel better. She wasn't great at comforting people. She supposed she could call that girl in her English class who had happily latched onto her, but then again, she didn't know her all that well. This was something she had to figure out on her own. As usual.

She spent a long while pacing back and forth, unsure how to make him feel… loved. She didn't love him in the way Liam did, or really in the way Milah probably did. Emma knew that's what he needed, and she couldn't give it to him. Not that soon. In the scheme of things, she hardly knew him.

Which was why it was so hard to help him. She had made a promise to Liam she knew she couldn't keep. She could try all she wanted, but she could never help him get through something like this. Or, at least she thought.

She had brewed some coffee, hoping the strong aroma would bring him downstairs, but that didn't seem to work. Until about ten minutes after the coffee had been brewed.

"Is that coffee?" His voice asked, causing Emma to glance up from her mug with a smile.

"Yeah. Want some?" She offered.

"Please." He sighed, sitting at the table and putting his head in his hands. Emma set her mug aside and poured him some into his favorite mug (Liam bought it for him—it was simply cream with a navy anchor and wheel on it, but Killian adored it nonetheless). She brought it and hers to the table, then sat down beside him, nudging his mug over to him. He rubbed his hands down his face before sighing and nodding to Emma.

"Thank you."

"It's nothing." Emma replied, taking a sip of hers as Killian did. She watched him over the edge of the mug, trying to read his expression. She was usually pretty good at it, but for whatever reason, Killian's expressions were different, unreadable.

"Are you, um, alright?" Emma asked softly.

"I'm fine." Killian replied quietly. Emma ran her lower lip between her teeth before setting her mug down and reaching beside her to grab his hand.

"Look, I know I'm not Liam, but… I'm here, okay?" Emma spoke softly, to which Killian nodded.

"Thank you, Emma. Seriously. I'm just… I've never been without him, you know?" Killian asked, making Emma nod.

"You have me, if you want to talk." Emma offered.

"I wouldn't know what to talk about."

"Anything." Emma shrugged. Killian simply sighed and shook his head.

"If you're going to be difficult, I have another idea." Emma spoke with a smirk. She took his hand and dragged him up, pulling him close and placing her hand on his shoulder. He chuckled as she started turning slowly, and as she did, he took one hand to reach in his pocket for his phone. He searched for a song for only a few seconds before settling on a familiar one.

"Elvis." Emma grinned, shaking her head as Killian closed the gap.

"Only one of my favorite songs." Killian whispered, smiling as Emma set her head on his chest.

"It's one of mine, too." Emma replied softly, chewing the inside of her cheek.

"I can't help falling in love with you." Killian whispered, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. Emma closed her eyes, hoping that this wouldn't ever end. Killian was more than what she needed.

Even after the song came to a close, the two continued their small circles. Emma realized that maybe she was falling in love with him, after all.

* * *

Later that night, Liam called to check in. Killian nearly dropped his phone as he excitedly answered it, and the way his face lit up made Emma grin ear to ear. She watched as he paced around the living room, a huge smile gracing his lips. The emphatic way he talked to his brother was something Emma longed for.

"Oh, do you want to talk to Emma? She's sitting right here." Killian smiled, handing her the phone despite her protests.

"Hey, Liam." She smiled.

"_Emma!"_

"It's just me." She laughed, "How's everything? Are you settled in?"

"_Finally,"_ Liam sighed, _"It's been a long day."_

"I bet. Made any friends?"

"_Not really. Aren't a lot of friendly people around here."_ Liam sighed, _"I'm sure I'm just tired and assuming everyone's grumpy."_

"Maybe." Emma smiled, "Do you at least like where you're stationed?"

"_Yeah, it's pretty. Kind of elusive."_ Liam chuckled, _"Can't tell you much more than that, I'm afraid."_

"No, I get it." Emma nodded, "Well, I'm glad you're settled in. I know you're happy."

"_I am. I just hope Killian won't be too upset."_

"I'll keep him in line." Emma smiled over to Killian, who furrowed his brows with a smile.

"_Good."_

"Want to talk to him again?" Emma asked.

"_Yeah. Thanks, Emma."_

"Of course, Liam." Emma replied, "Talk to you later."

She handed the phone back to Killian, who immediately picked up where he'd left off. Emma couldn't help but smile at Killian's joy in talking to his brother, knowing that he'd be just fine, even if he was stuck with her.


	6. February (Part I)

_A/N: I know I posted a chapter yesterday, buuuuut it was short, and you all are leaving really lovely reviews, so I thought I'd give you a Memorial Day treat! And, I know you're looking at the chapter title and thinking 'PART ONE?!'. Yep, February is _so_ intense that it had to be divided into two parts. And, spoiler, this is not the only month I'm dividing into multiple parts—you'll have to wait to see what other ones are! Anyways, enjoy!_

_I listened to 'Can't Help Falling in Love' by Fleet Foxes, 'Won't Say I'm In Love' from Hercules, 'Let Her Go' by Passenger, and 'Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic' by Sleeping At Last._

* * *

"Valentine's day is tomorrow." Killian spoke quietly, breaking the silence at lunch. Emma glanced up from her sandwich, offering a smile.

"I know."

"Do you have any plans?" Killian asked.

"Of course I don't. You're my only friend, Kill." Emma said (she started calling him that after Liam left).

"You have Mary Margaret, right?" Killian asked, "The girl in your English class."

"Well, yeah, but she and her boyfriend are doing something." Emma replied, finally smiling, "Why? Do you have plans?"

"I was hoping that maybe you'd like to go out to dinner, or something." Killian said, rubbing the back of his neck, "I mean, you don't have to, I just thought maybe you'd like to."

"I think I would." Emma smiled.

"Really?"

"Sure. It'll be fun."

Killian smiled when she took another bite, their eyes not really leaving each other's.

* * *

Emma had made the mistake of telling Mary Margaret about her evening with Killian, prompting her to ask a million questions. And to force her to go to the mall with her and find a dress.

Mary Margaret was nice, and Emma had to admit that it was kind of nice to have a girl friend, someone to talk to about things that she couldn't with Killian.

She sounds exactly how one would picture her to be with a name like Mary Margaret. She was petite, with short, raven-colored hair. Her wardrobe was all made of pastels and lacey dresses-she foiled Emma perfectly.

So, dress shopping was interesting, to say the least.

"Oh, Emma, what about this one?" Mary smiled, holding up a dress that was adorned in a delicate floral print.

"Mary, I appreciate it, but that's not really my taste." Emma reminded her.

"Then I might get it." She smiled, then pursed her lips when she saw Emma sifting through the rack, "Emma, you'll find a dress, I promise."

"That's not even scratching the surface of the amount of things I'm worried about." Emma sighed, "But, we're focusing on this now."

"If you need to talk, I'm here, okay?" Mary Margaret smiled, settling her hand on Emma's shoulder.

"Thank you." Emma replied with a small smile.

"Of course." Mary smiled, "Now, let's find you a dress that will make Killian fall at your feet."

"It doesn't have to be that-"

"Will you let me do your hair tomorrow?" Mary beamed, her hands clasped together in a plea, "Please, Emma?"

Emma rolled her head to the side with a smile before looking back to Mary Margaret.

"Sure." Emma smiled.

"I'll just come pick you up-"

"I mean, Killian probably wouldn't mind you coming over." Emma shrugged.

"Emma, can I ask you a serious question?"

"Um, yeah, sure." Emma replied.

"Are you and Killian together?" She asked, causing Emma to sigh.

"I'm not really sure, to be honest." Emma replied, "I mean, we do couple-y things, but... We both say it means nothing."

"Does it really mean nothing, though?" Mary Margaret asked, causing Emma to close her eyes and shake her head.

"It means nothing. We're not together." Emma spoke flatly. Mary Margaret sighed, continuing to sift through the dresses before gasping.

"Emma, I don't know if you'll go for this, but with your boots, this dress will look so perfect." She smiled, holding up a red dress with a small sheer strip near the bottom. It had a tight bodice with a flowing skirt, making Emma purse her lips. It wasn't exactly her style, but she needed a dress.

"You think so?"

"Will you go try it on?"

"Just for you." Emma replied, offering a grin, making Mary Margaret clap her hands excitedly. Emma laughed and turned to go find the changing room.

As soon as she changed into the dress, she stood in front of the mirror, turning a little and imagining what Killian would think. She quickly stopped thinking about him, because she knew that he'd say she looked good if she wore a damn paper bag.

"Emma? Are you in the dress?" Mary's voice asked from behind the door. Emma nervously pushed open the door, revealing herself and earning a gasp from Mary Margaret.

"Emma, you look so gorgeous." She beamed, "Please say you'll get that one."

"Do you like it?" Emma asked, turning a little again, trying to make sure she was making the absolute best decision. It was more money than she had expected to spend on a dress, but it was doable.

"It's perfect." Mary Margaret spoke with a dreamy smile, "He won't be able to resist you, Emma."

Emma couldn't help but smile at her last statement. The idea of Killian's jaw dropping was enough to make her laugh a little, then cover her mouth.

"Okay, yeah, it's pretty perfect." She smiled, then hugged Mary Margaret, "Thank you."

"Of course!" She giggled in response, "Does this mean we can do our prom dress shopping together, too?"

"Sure." Emma smiled, tugging away. Mary Margaret clapped her hands together with a wide smile, clearly unable to contain her joy.

* * *

The next morning, when Emma woke up, Killian's warmth wasn't beside her. She sat up, rubbing her face and glancing around for him. She figured he probably just woke up a little early and decided to get something to eat. The noise her stomach made suggested she should do the same.

Emma crawled out of bed, rising to her feet and stretching before going to open the door. As soon as she did, she was greeted by a wonderful aroma. She didn't recognize what it was, making her smile and hurry down the stairs. As soon as she made it to the kitchen, she found Killian leaning against the counter and sipping at his coffee. The table had an array of food on it-from cinnamon buns to fruit. Emma couldn't help but smile.

"Morning, Emma. Happy Valentine's Day." Killian smiled, "Don't be too impressed, I went out and bought all of this."

"I... Thank you." Emma spoke with a quick smile. Killian set his coffee down and opened his arms. Emma hurried over to hug him, her cheeks warming when she felt Killian's rough cheek touch hers.

"This was nothing, love." Killian replied, tugging away with his signature grin. The one Emma secretly loved.

"This is..." Emma smiled, turning to look at the table, then back to him, "Killian, why me?"

"I don't know. Something drew me in, I suppose. Possibly your incredible green eyes, or your beautiful lips, or possibly even your sass." Killian smiled, earning a gentle hit to the shoulder, "I don't know. You're just you, and… I like just you."

"I like 'just you', too." Emma grinned. The two shared a silent moment, their eyes never tearing from each other's. After only a few seconds, Killian cleared his throat.

"Well, um, dig in." Killian smiled, gesturing to the table.

* * *

The school day dragged on, each class passing by slower and slower. Emma realized she was more nervous than she thought she'd be. Suddenly, the idea of going out on an official date with Killian was terrifying.

"Emma, seriously, don't worry about it." Mary Margaret spoke sweetly as she carefully curled a lock of Emma's hair, "It's good that you two are finally going on an official, real date. I think... I think you'll find that this is something that you should have done a long time ago."

"Wait, what?" Emma asked, turning in her chair to look up at her friend.

"I mean, it's not really a secret that you two should be a thing... You make him the happiest since Milah."

"I get that a lot." Emma sighed, "Did you know Milah?"

"She was a good friend. I, um, miss her a lot. She and Killian were kind of the 'it' couple. They were attached at the hip, they loved each other so fiercely... Killian would have done anything for her." Mary spoke softly, going back to curling her hair.

"Looks like I've got big shoes to fill."

"You've filled them." Mary smiled, "Believe me. The moment you decided to stay... You filled them."

Emma sighed, closing her eyes. Killian meant a lot to her, but she was nothing like what everyone made Milah sound like.

"It doesn't matter... He and I aren't really dating."

Mary Margaret pursed her lips, causing Emma to smile.

"What?" She asked, "We aren't."

"Emma, if he asked you to, would you?" Mary asked.

"Asked me to what?"

Mary raised an unamused brow.

"Okay, fine," Emma sighed, "I don't know, okay? I don't know."

"Well, when he does ask you, you'll know in your heart what to say." Mary smiled, returning to curl Emma's hair.

"I'm not usually one to follow my heart."

"Don't write it off so easily-it might surprise you." Mary replied.

"You like this idea of love, don't you?" Emma asked.

"A lot. I think about it probably more than I should." Mary spoke fondly, "Maybe it's because I've been with David for almost four years. I mean, finding him felt like I didn't have to search for anything anymore."

"How did you two meet, anyways?"

"I volunteered at the hospital for a while, since my mother was a nurse there. I was able to get pretty close to patients, which was a great experience. Anyways, it had been a really rainy day-there were a lot of car accidents. So, I was doing my best to help my mother process all of the patients. I had to get names, birthdays, all of their vital information." Mary shrugged with a smile before continuing, "Anyways, I was moving onto my next patient when I realized that he went to my school. It was David. I asked him for his information, and he gave it all to me with a smile, despite the fact that he was in a lot of pain. I couldn't get the thought of him out of my head that night when I finished my shift, so I tracked down his room to go see him. He had to have emergency surgery on his leg, so he was unconscious. But, I went in anyways and left him a short note, with my number... He called the next day, and it just kind of grew from there."

"Sounds like it was fate, then." Emma smiled in return.

"Fate's a weird thing, you know. It leads us in ways we normally wouldn't go."

"Tell me about it." Emma sighed.

"It'll guide you in the right direction." Mary grinned, "It seemed to work for me."

"I hope so." Emma sighed, looking in the mirror to see her curls done.

"Oh, Emma, you look beautiful." Mary smiled, "Go show Killian. I think it's almost six."

Emma rose from the chair and straightened her dress.

"You're sure I look okay?"

"Yes. You look stunning." Mary beamed, then grabbed her hand to start down the hall.

Killian was waiting at the base of the stairs, so Mary gently pushed Emma towards the top of the stairs, while Emma protested.

"Emma." Killian breathed, a smile growing on his cheeks. Emma felt her cheeks blush to the match the color of her dress, watching Killian's expression as she walked down the stairs.

"You look handsome." Emma smiled as she reached him.

"Thank you. You look unbelievable. You're a vision." Killian spoke softly, almost as if the air in his lungs had been taken away.

"Thanks." Emma replied, rubbing her arm and looking down.

"Ready to get going?" Killian asked, and all Emma could muster was a nod. He took her hand and led her out of the house. He opened her door for her, causing her to smile, then hurried over to his side to start the car.

"You truly are beautiful, Emma."

"Thank you, Killian." Emma replied softly, tucking a curl behind her ear. The two were silent, allowing the song playing on the radio to fill the silence.

"This song reminds me of you." Killian grinned, glancing to her. Emma let out a nervous laugh, shaking her head before meeting his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Killian nodded, then to Emma's surprise, sang, "_Only know you love her when you let her go, and you let her go_."

"You're not bad, Killian." Emma smiled, "I'm surprised that's the song that makes you think of me."

"It's because this song is how I felt after Milah died... Then you came along, and I realized that I could move on." Killian admitted, "You made me realize that... What I was doing was going to get me nowhere. I wasn't helping anyone with what I was doing. I was giving up on myself, on life, then I met you, and... Something in the back of my head was urging me to talk to you."

"Killian..." Emma breathed.

"All of that is true. I promise." Killian spoke softly.

"You make me feel emotions I've never felt before, Killian. Emotions that I didn't realize I wanted to feel. So, um, thanks." Emma spoke softly.

"I'm glad." Killian smiled, pulling into a parking spot. Emma glanced up to try and figure out where they were.

"Where are we?" Emma asked as she got out of the car. Killian had already gotten out of the driver's seat and hurried to her side.

"You'll see." Killian grinned, closing her door and taking her hand in his. She blushed at the action, hurrying a little to catch up.

"Killian, wait, is this-"

"Sure is." Killian grinned, leading her inside.

"Kill, this is one of the most expensive restaurants in the city." Emma whispered as they approached the hostess counter.

"Do you have a reservation?" The hostess drawled.

"Yes, the name should be Killian." He grinned. Emma rolled her eyes at his irresistible charm. He took her hand in his, following the hostess as started walking. Emma had never been inside the restaurant before—it was far too expensive for her to so much as walk by and breathe the air. Killian held out a chair for her, making her smile as she sat down. He moved to sit beside her, thanking the hostess as she handed them their menus.

"Killian, I can't—"

"Liam gave me some extra money. He told me to treat you today." Killian smiled, taking her hand, "Don't worry."

"Killian, this is… no one has ever done anything like this for me." Emma spoke softly.

"You deserve it, love." Killian replied, his eyes meeting hers. They were brighter than usual, crystalline as fresh ice.

Their waitress came with a glass of champagne for each of them, causing Emma to widen her eyes at him. He only smiled in return, glancing up to the waitress to answer her question.

"Could we have another moment to look over the menu?" Killian grinned, to which she nodded and walked away, "What will you get, Ms. Swan?"

"You're unbelievable." Emma grumbled, looking up to meet his eyes with a beaming smile.

"Yeah, well, there are things we just can't help." Killian grinned, then lifted his champagne glass, "To us."

"To us." Emma smiled, clinking her glass against his and taking a sip as he did.

"I'm honestly very glad you agreed to come with."

"Why wouldn't I?" Emma asked.

"I don't know. I just… I haven't had someone like you in a long time." Killian sighed, "And I was hoping to ask you something."

"What?" Emma replied, unsure that she wanted him to answer.

"Are you two ready to order?"

"Sure." Killian sighed, then forced a smile, "I'll have the lobster, please."

"And for you, ma'am?"

"I'll, um, have the filet."

"How would you like that to be cooked?"

"Medium, please."

"It will be out shortly." The waitress spoke with a smile as she took their menus.

"What were you going to ask me?"

"Nothing, it was nothing."

"Why are you lying to me?" Emma asked softly.

"Because if I told you, you wouldn't reply."

"You don't know that." Emma replied, pulling her hand from his, "Please tell me so I don't have to sit here and guess."

"I wanted to formally ask you if you would… if you would be my girlfriend." Killian spoke softly, meeting her eyes, "I really enjoy your company, Emma, and… I think about your lips more often than I should. I don't… I don't want someone else to have you, to hold you in their arms. I want to be the man who gets to kiss you every night, I want to be the man who holds you when you cry. I want to be yours, and you to be mine."

Emma couldn't have really prepared herself for any of that. She knew Killian adored her, and liked her company, but… he really wanted her. And she wanted him, too.

Without a word, she leaned over and pressed her lips to his cheek. He smiled at the action, making Emma's tight smile hurt her own heart.

"Killian, you are more than I could ask for, but… I can't give you what you need. I'm not prepared to." Emma spoke softly, "I think that this should stay friendly."

Killian glanced down to his lap, then back to her with a nod and a forced smile.

"Friendly is fine." He spoke quietly. He'd always been a terrible liar.


	7. February (Part II)

_A/N: Aaaand, here's part 2! Killian and Emma may seem to be on the rocks, but I assure you, nothing is ever the way it seems ;)_

_I listened to 'Kiss Me' by the Fray, 'Won't Go Home Without You' by Maroon 5, & 'Slow Dancing In A Burning Room' by John Mayer. Enjoy!_

* * *

The two finished dinner and per Killian's suggestion, they decided to walk around downtown a little.

"Thank you again, for dinner. It was amazing." Emma smiled, gently bumping his side. He chuckled and took her hand in his.

"Of course, love. It was incredible. And you still look beautiful." Killian replied, taking a quick look up and down, "I've never seen you in a dress before."

"They're usually not my thing." Emma replied, tucking some of her bangs behind her ear.

"Maybe they should be." Killian suggested, a certain roughness in his voice, "I'm sure you could find some to match that leather coat of yours."

Emma glanced up to him, noticing his eyes were darker than usual, like the ocean before a storm. She didn't really remember how, but her lips were definitely pressed against Killian's, her fingers tight around the lapels of his blazer. Her body felt incredibly hot, her blood boiling under her skin.

Killian gently prodded her forward to press her against the wall, moving his hand to her long, blonde hair. He tried not to tug at it, but it was a hard act to resist when she was this close. He could feel his cheeks burning red as he opened his mouth a little, then closed around her lower lip. Teeth clicked as he tugged down a little, setting his other hand beside her on the wall and adjusting his hand on the back of her neck.

Emma panted to keep up with his quick lips, trying desperately not to fight him. She never wanted to let go of him, she wanted him this close always. His lips drifted down to her jaw, pressing soft kisses along it before moving down to her neck. She leaned her head back against the cold cement of the building she was pressed against, her jaw falling slack as Killian's lips sucked a little at her neck.

"Killian." She whispered, moving her hands from his lapels to his chest, under his blazer.

"Just friends, love?" He whispered.

"I can't do… yes, just friends."

"Mm? Do just friends do this?"

"Killian, people are-"

"Hush." Killian rasped against her skin.

"I can't have a hickey tomorrow."

"Why? We don't have school tomorrow."

"I know, but-oh!" She shrieked, causing Killian to tug away, not even trying to suppress his laughter as he tossed his head back, "Don't laugh at me!"

"Sorry, that's was a glorious noise." Killian grinned, snapping his head back down to look at her with softer eyes, "Sorry, love."

He set his hands on her waist, a smirk growing on his cheeks.

"You are seriously unbelievable, you know that?"

"You've told me before, love." Killian smiled, taking a step closer to entirely close the gap between them.

"I've got a paper to write, you know."

"Oh, have you? Pray tell, when is it due?" Killian smiled, causing Emma's cheek to redden.

"Friday of next week." She mumbled.

"Mm, that's what I thought." Killian smiled, "Why don't we just go back to the house and watch a movie, or something? I'm sure we can find some sappy romantic movies to watch."

"That actually sounds... Kind of nice." Emma replied softly. Killian leaned forward for a gentler kiss, a vast opposite of the kiss they previously shared. He settled his hand in her blonde tresses once more, bringing her closer.

"Killian." Emma whispered, tugging her lips away and leaning her forehead against his.

"Emma." Killian breathed, a wide smile gracing his fantastically pink lips, "God, I love when you say my name."

Emma let out a small laugh before meeting his eyes.

"I like it when you say mine, too." Emma confessed. A strong wind blew past them, causing Emma to cover her arms. Killian hurriedly pulled his jacket off and set it on Emma's shoulders.

"C'mon, let's go get you warmed up. I'll start a fire when we get home." Killian smiled, taking her hand, then looping his arm around her shoulders to keep close.

"A fire sounds so nice right now." Emma sighed, leaning against him as they walked back to his car.

* * *

Emma immediately rid herself of her boots when she walked in, not noticing Killian's grin as she did so. He walked to the living room and turned on the TV, hoping something annoyingly sappy was on.

"Would you like me to make some cocoa and popcorn, love?"

"Yes please." Emma smiled, "Mind if I go change?"

"Of course not." Killian replied as he walked into the kitchen. He turned to watch Emma hurry up the stairs, shaking his head with a smile he hadn't worn in a long time.

He dug around in the cabinets until he found the cocoa mix and the popcorn, and decided to put the popcorn in first. Once that was taken care of, he grabbed two mugs from the dishwasher and filled them with steaming water. Killian smiled as he poured the cocoa mix into the mugs, taking a spoon and stirring until it was the right consistency. The microwave went off, but before he could grab it, Emma had beaten him to the punch.

Killian couldn't help but stare at her for a moment. She was already out of her dress (which Killian knew had been tossed onto her bed like it was yesterday's paper) and into her favorite pajamas bottoms. They were some sort of navy, fleecy material with little yellow stars sprinkling her legs. She wore a tank top with them, which Killian never understood. It didn't matter.

"Need a bowl, love?" Killian smiled, "Bottom cabinet, last on the left."

Emma bent down to grab one, choosing the large blue one for them to share.

"That cocoa smells so delicious." Emma smiled.

"Mm, tell me about it." Killian grinned, taking the two mugs to the couch. Emma followed with the popcorn, curling up beside him and setting the popcorn on his lap. He handed her a mug, and she immediately brought it close enough to breathe in the aroma, then to take a large sip.

"Hot." She spoke in a high pitch, making Killian laugh.

"I could've told you that, love." He grinned, wrapping an arm around her.

"But, delicious." She noted.

"Good." Killian whispered, kissing her cheek.

"So, what movie is this?"

"No clue. Some sappy one." Killian shrugged, "We can watch something else, if you want."

"This is fine." Emma smiled.

"So, would you like to explain to me what this makes us?" Killian asked with a smug smile.

"Friends who like to kiss a lot." Emma spoke with the same smile.

"Oh, that's what we're calling it?" He laughed, causing Emma to laugh with him.

"Yes, for now."

"I see." Killian smiled, "Well, if it's all the same to you, I think I like that."

"Good."

* * *

"You made out with him?" Mary Margaret asked with a huge grin.

"Sh!" Emma laughed as she grabbed books from her locker, "It didn't mean anything."

"Oh, please!" Mary exclaimed, "Please tell me that you two are going out now!"

"We're 'friends who like to kiss a lot'." Emma replied with air quotes.

"Emma!"

"What?"

"Did he ask you out?" She asked, yielding no response, "Did he?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Before or after you kissed?"

"Before."

"And you said..?"

"...that we should keep it friendly."

"Emma!"

"You're drawing attention-"

"Because you are being absolutely blind!"

"What?"

"Emma, I've seen the way you look at him. It's the way I look at David." Mary admitted, clutching her books closer to her chest, "I think you need to rethink this, Emma."

"No, I think I'm doing fine."

"You need to let him know." Mary sighed, "He deserves that at least."

Emma was about to reply when she felt an arm around her waist and a peck on her cheek.

"Hello, love." Killian's voice spoke in her ear, shooting a shiver down her spine.

"Hi." Emma blushed, turning to see his smile.

"How's your day going?" He asked.

"Pretty well, I guess. You?"

"Perfect, now that I've seen you." He grinned, pressing a quick kiss to her lips, "How are you, Mary Margaret?"

"I'm good." She smiled, "How was your Valentine's Day?"

"Lovely." Killian spoke quietly, meeting Emma's eyes before averting his attention back to Mary Margaret, "What about yours?"

"David cooked for me." She smiled, "He made his mother's recipe for a German dish."

"That sounds beyond delicious." Killian hummed.

"It was pretty delicious—hey, we should do a double date sometime, now that you two are a thing." Mary grinned.

The two stumbled around their words, looking to her, then back to each other a few times as they tried to make excuses.

"Well, David and I would love to go out on one with you two sometime. I'll see you in English, Emma!" Mary grinned as she floated away.

"Did you tell her we were a thing?" Killian smirked.

"No, I didn't, she just said that we should be-"

"Well, what do you think, love?" Killian asked, meeting her eyes.

"I don't-"

"You do know, Emma," Killian sighed, stopping in the hallway and taking her hands in his, "You know how you feel. I don't want to push you into this, but... I've tried everything, and-"

"I really, really like you, Killian. I promise. I'm just not good at this whole relationship thing." Emma spoke softly, looking to her feet.

"Emma, darling, that doesn't matter to me." Killian replied, gently raising her chin to gaze into her bright, emerald eyes, "I will give you everything if you'll be mine."

"I'll give you everything, too." Emma whispered, leaning forward into his arms and closing her eyes tight. She tried her best not to cry, but a tear slid down her cheek regardless. She wasn't at all used to someone caring for her the way Killian did. He put her above all else in the world.

"Emma, are you crying, love?" Killian asked, tugging away and smiling when he saw her tear. He gently swiped it away with his thumb, keeping his hand on her cheek.

"I feel the need to ask again," Killian grinned, taking a step back from her and bowing, "Emma Swan, will you be my girlfriend?"

Emma giggled as she glanced around, then refocused on Killian.

"Okay." She smiled.

"Say it."

"I'll be your girlfriend."

"Louder?" Killian smiled his smug smile, causing Emma's laugh to multiply.

"I will be your girlfriend!" Emma shouted through the hall, earning a decent number of whoops and applauds.

Killian swooped her into his arms in one movement, crashing his lips against hers. _Oh, God_, Emma thought, _I'm finally feeling it_.


	8. March

_A/N: Oh, wow. We are coming down to the final months, you guys! Mind you, this only goes to June, with a July epilogue. So, we're boiling down a little bit! I've loved this whole story, and exploring this relationship with you all has been a blessing. Keep on enjoying it!_

_While writing this chapter, I listened to 'Out of Goodbyes' by Maroon 5, 'Burning Bridges' (the acoustic cover) by OneRepublic, & 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons._

* * *

Killian had never felt more complete than with Emma at his side. The two were now closer than ever, and Killian certainly adored it. He adored her.

That night they'd made some pasta, and it was Emma's night to do the dishes. Killian couldn't help but watch from the doorway as she hummed to herself. He felt a smile grow on his lips, deciding to go talk to her.

"Can I tell you something, love?" Killian asked, wrapping his arms around her from behind, causing Emma to smile and stop scrubbing.

"Sure, Kill." She grinned, continuing her washing.

"I never thought I would fall in love again after Milah died. Until you came along. Once you came into my life, it was like the sun was shining again. It was like I had been missing something my whole life." Killian whispered, gently rocking her, side to side.

"I never thought I'd fall in love, ever. I just assumed it wasn't for me. But, look how wrong I was." Emma grinned, wiping her hands and turning in his arms to face him. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her nose just as she scrunched it up.

"We're both a little broken, then, aren't we?"

"Sometimes broken fits."

"Yes, it does." He smiled, "If I help you finish this, will you help me write a paper?"

Emma rolled her eyes as she turned around, not at all trying to hide her smile as she continued to wash the dishes.

"Can I take that as a yes?" Killian whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

"No." She replied when she composed herself.

"I'll help anyways, then." He grinned, stepping beside her and grabbing a dish. He watched her scrub in a circular fashion, then copied the movement.

"Are you copying what I'm doing?" Emma smiled.

"Possibly." Killian spoke with raised eyebrows, concentrating on cleaning the bowl.

"Mm." Emma laughed, bumping his hip with her own.

"So, about that paper…?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll help you with it." Emma smiled, "When's it due?"

"T'mrrw." Killian mumbled, causing Emma to glare up at him.

"When?"

"Tomorrow." He sighed, earning a sharp nudge to his ribs.

"You are an idiot, you know that?"

"I do, love." Killian grinned, "I just assumed you liked it."

"I only tolerate it because you're you." Emma replied with a smug grin.

"Mm, now that I do believe." Killian smiled.

"Well, let's leave these, then, and get started on that paper." Emma sighed, turning the water off and drying her hands, "How long does it have to be?"

"Three pages, double-spaced."

"Subject?" Emma giggled as Killian took her hand and lead her up the stairs.

"The history of piracy!" He exclaimed, flopping onto his bed and dragging Emma down with him. She laughed as he held her close, her long, blonde locks dangling over his face.

"Avast, she's a beauty." Killian spoke in his rough, Irish accent.

"Oh, god. You've gone off the deep end." Emma laughed.

"Have I, love?" Killian smiled, gently squeezing her sides, "Or have I walked the plank?"

"It seems to me that you don't need my help to be a pirate." Emma smiled.

"Oh, but I do, love. Pirates always have muses."

"I don't remember that in the history books."

"That's because it's probably not true." Killian chuckled, "But, I have a muse, and that muse is you, my love."

"Please don't make me blush." Emma smiled, tucking her chin into her shoulder.

"Why? You look so cute when you blush." Killian smirked, taking her chin and dragging her head down to press his lips against hers. Emma giggled into his mouth before playfully shoving him away.

"C'mon, lover boy. You've got a paper to write." Emma smiled, rolling over to lie on the bed, then sit up. She brushed her fingers through her hair, smiling when Killian kissed her cheek.

"Mm, I suppose now that I've my muse, we can get started." Killian grinned as he slipped off the bed to grab his laptop. Emma curled up against his pillows, tugging the throw blanket over her body. Killian climbed onto the bed again and laid beside Emma, tugging her into his side.

"I hate starting papers."

"It isn't hard."

"You do it, then." Killian smiled.

"No—Kill, have you even done research for this?"

"Not really."

"Oh god. This is going to be a really long night, isn't it?"

"Probably." Killian shrugged, "I'm fine, I got a ton of sleep last night. If you're tired, don't hesitate to fall asleep."

"I won't fall asleep. I'll help you with this as best I can." Emma smiled, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"You're surprisingly sweet, you know that, love?" Killian said, tapping his finger on the keypad as he worked out what to type into the search bar.

"Surprisingly?"

"Not to be rude, love, but you can come off a little rough." Killian smiled as he started typing.

"Says the one who's been caught by the police so many times they know your name." Emma teased, earning a playful nudge.

"They love me, what are you talking about?" He chuckled, scrolling through his options, "Does this page look useful?"

"Stop scrolling and maybe I can figure it out." Emma laughed, "I think this one looks promising. At least it doesn't have stupid anchors and skulls all over the page."

"Watch it." He teased.

"Oh, please. You're all of a sudden attached to pirates?"

"Love, must I remind you that my brother and I adore sailing?" Killian grinned.

"Have you ever even gone sailing?"

"Well, no." Killian admitted quietly. Emma bit her lip when she realized that she might have pushed it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"I can finish this on my own." Killian spoke softly. Emma bit her lip once more before pressing her lips to Killian's cheek and rising off the bed. She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her, knowing that what she said was entirely insensitive.

She walked to her room and whipped out her phone to call the only person she knew could understand.

"_Emma, is something wrong?"_ Mary Margaret's voice asked.

"I'm an idiot, that's all." Emma sighed, sitting on her bed and running her hand nervously through her hair.

"_Uh oh. What happened?"_

"I think I… I really hurt Killian's feelings."

"_How?"_

"He's doing a project for his history project, and I told him I'd help. It's on pirates, and I was just kidding around, then I asked if he'd ever even been on a ship before, and—bottom line is that I'm so insensitive and I apparently don't think." Emma spoke quickly, then sighed.

"_Honestly, yeah, that was pretty, um, insensitive, give that his brother's gone in the Navy... But, I think you can fix this."_

"Yeah?"

"_First, give him some space. I know when David gets frustrated, all he wants is to be alone for a little bit."_ Mary said, _"I'd say after he's cooled down, go back in and apologize."_

"Apologize? Mary Margaret, I've already—"

"_Like you mean it, Emma." _She replied, causing Emma to sigh again.

"Okay, fine, I'll do that."

"_Just, um, call me if that doesn't work."_

"Will do. Thank you."

"_Of course, Emma. That's what I'm here for." _Mary said, and Emma could feel her smile,_ "Talk to you later."_

"Bye." Emma replied and hung up. She tossed her phone to the other end of the bed and fell onto her back, closing her eyes. _Killian's already upset that Liam was away, and what I just said did not help, I'm sure_, Emma thought to herself.

* * *

After an hour or so of waiting, Emma rose up off the bed and put on pajamas to go lie with him. She knew he would still be upset, so she needed to tread lightly. Walking down to his room was a bit eerie, since the house was so quiet, making every footstep an earthquake. She peeked into his room to find him lying on his side, facing the window. The room was pretty dark, the only light coming from his bedside and the moon outside his window.

Emma cautiously walked in, hoping that he wasn't sleeping.

"Killian?" She asked softly.

"Go away." He mumbled.

"I'm here to apologize." Emma replied, fidgeting with her fingers, "What I said was… really, really insensitive. I didn't think about what I was saying, I was just teasing, and… I'm honestly sorry, Kill. I understand if you don't want to talk to me, I just… I figured you deserved a true apology. I'll, um, see you in the morning. Sleep well."

Emma turned on her heel and shut the door again, a few tears trickling down her cheek. She never meant to hurt him. She quickly hurried to her room and shut her own door, finally allowing herself to break down. Emma went to the window seat to lie down and look out the window, trying her hardest to keep her tears in. There wasn't much she hated more than crying.

After only a few minutes of crying, Emma had fallen asleep. Killian knew her apology was sincere, so he went to go forgive her, but when he reached her, she was out. He offered a half-smile as he approached her, deciding to bend down and carefully lift her off the bench and bring her to the bed. He tugged the sheets over her sleeping form before pressing a long kiss to her forehead.

"Sleep well, my Emma." He whispered.

He turned around and closed her door, letting his world get some rest. He knew she didn't mean it.

* * *

The next morning, Emma woke up abruptly by her phone alarm going off. She quickly sat up, realizing that she was in her bed and not on the bench. Only, she couldn't remember ever leaving the bench. Emma quickly got out of bed and darted down the hall, towards Killian's room. She hurried in, only to see him just waking up. He looked confused as she ran to him, pulling him into her arms.

"I'm so sorry, Killian." She whispered.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have said what I did—I wasn't thinking at all, and I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you." Emma spoke softly as she closed her eyes tight.

"I know you didn't." Killian replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "I know you didn't mean anything by it."

Emma tugged away, meeting Killian's red-lined eyes.

"Did you get any sleep?" Emma asked.

"I did." Killian nodded, "I think I worked on the paper until about one, maybe?"

"Okay, but did you sleep after that?"

"…Not a lot."

"Why don't you skip today? You look… you don't look great." Emma sighed, brushing her thumb over his warm cheek.

"I need to turn that paper in—"

"Can you email it to your teacher?"

"Probably." Killian nodded.

"Let's do that, then, okay? You need some rest."

"Will you stay with me?" He asked softly.

"If you want me to, I will." Emma whispered, offering her signature half-smile, "C'mon, let's get you back in bed."

"I need to send the—"

"I've got it covered. You focus on sleeping." Emma smiled, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. She reached over and grabbed his laptop as he laid down, opening it to see that he was already logged on. Emma opened his email and attached the paper.

"Which teacher is it?"

"Moore."

"Okay, it's on its way." Emma smiled, closing the laptop and setting it on his bedside table.

"Lie with me?"

"Of course." Emma replied, lying down beside him and smiling when he pulled her closer, under his arm.

"You don't hate me, do you?" She asked after a few moments of silence.

"No, I don't. I couldn't if I tried." Killian spoke softly, "It hurt, yes, but it did not make me like you any less."

"Okay." Emma whispered, snuggling her head closer to his. He finally closed his eyes, and Emma was quick to follow.

* * *

The two slept a good portion of the morning, waking at around eleven for food.

"Mm, that smells delicious, love." Killian smiled from the table.

"It's an Eggo waffle, nothing too special, I'm afraid." Emma replied, focusing on reading the directions.

"Regardless, it smells amazing."

"You're strange, Kill." Emma laughed, quickly turning to see his expression.

"I know." He grinned, catching Emma's eyes, "I assumed you knew this by now, love."

"Oh, I do. I just like being reminded of it."

"Do you now?" Killian asked, rising from his chair and walking over to envelope Emma in his arms.

"I do." Emma spoke softly, her eyelashes fluttering a little. It seemed he could make her flustered at any time he wished.

"Do what?" Killian mumbled.

"What?"

"What?" Killian whispered, leaning down to capture her lips in his. She stood on her toes to reach the lips that she so desperately craved, setting her hands on his shoulders to balance herself. Killian gently pulled his lips from hers to grab her by the waist and hoist her up onto the counter so she was just a little taller than him. Their lips reunited as if they'd never stopped.

Killian smiled as she gently bit down on his lower lip, enjoying her sudden playfulness. Just as he was going to reciprocate, the toaster went off, frightening both of them.

"Breakfast is ready." Emma giggled, leaning her head against his chest.

"Mm, it still smells delicious."

"I don't want to move." Emma confessed, "When… you put me in your arms… I'm home. For good."

Killian wrapped his arms tighter around her, closing his eyes and nodding against her head.

"I know, love." He whispered, "I feel it, too. You are home."

Home was a funny word, Emma decided, because it would never be a place—it would always be Killian.


	9. April (Part I)

_A/N: Seriously, thank you all so much for all of the love I'm receiving! You all are too kind—but, I'm glad you're enjoying this as much as I am! Keep on reading—since we're really getting down to the last few chapters, things start getting… interesting. Enjoy!_

_(Also, here's another divided chapter!)_

_As I wrote this, I listened to 'Coming Home' by Skylar Grey, 'For Emma' by Bon Iver, and 'Flowers In Your Hair' by the Lumineers._

* * *

Killian couldn't seem to choose the right moment to ask Emma to Prom. Every time he tried asking her, it seemed like something always came up. Either Mary Margaret came up, or it was during a class change, or she was in a bad mood—he couldn't get it right.

Finally, he caught her at her desk one afternoon. He leaned against the frame of the door, watching Emma type away at her computer.

"Emma, do you have a moment?"

"Kill, I wish I did, but I'm trying to work on this application." Emma sighed, running her hands down her face.

"For what?" Killian asked curiously, sauntering over.

"I'm getting a new job, I can't stand the one I have now."

"Where are you looking?"

"Everywhere." Emma groaned, slamming her head on the desk. Killian only smiled and set his hands on her shoulders, gently rubbing them.

"You'll find a great fit, I promise, love. You've gotta be patient, though." Killian spoke softly as she raised her head to look at him.

"You think?"

"Of course, Emma," Killian smiled, taking her chin in his hand, "You're charming and lovely."

"Yeah, okay." Emma laughed.

"You are, I promise. You may come off as a little rough, but you should have no problem getting a job, dear."

"Thanks, Killian." Emma smiled.

"Emma, love, can I ask you a question?" Killian asked softly.

"Sure." She replied, tucking some hair behind her ear.

"Will you go to Prom with me, love?" Killian smiled hopefully. Emma's eyes fluttered a little, trying to process what he asked her.

"Prom?" She repeated.

"Yes, you buy a pretty dress, take lots of photos, dance the night away—"

"I know what it is, I just… Prom." Emma whispered.

"Do you want me to do something larger than just this? I mean, I can bring you a cake and balloons, if you so prefer."

"No, this was kind of perfect, I just… I don't think I really want to go to Prom." Emma admitted.

"Not at all?" Killian asked, embarrassed for even trying.

"I'm sorry, Killian." She replied, "It's not for me."

"You aren't even willing to try?" Killian spoke in a hurt tone. Emma fully turned to face him, setting her hand on his cheek.

"Kill, you know I like you a lot. I just… Prom isn't for girls like me." Emma explained.

"Why does it have to be for a specific type of girls?"

"Because I'm not girly. I'd rather go shoot something than get my nails done, or buy a leather jacket over a dress." Emma said, "I'm not cut out to go to Prom."

"Emma, please. For me?" Killian pleaded, "I'll buy you the most gorgeous dress, we'll eat a lovely dinner, we can dance the night away… Please, Emma, I want to enjoy this with you."

Emma blinked a few times before rubbing her thumb up and down his cheek.

"You really want to go that badly?"

"It's not even that—it's just something I want to do with you." Killian spoke softly, "I… I know it sounds kind of ridiculous, but I want to do everything with you. You make me feel like I can do everything, and I've never thought that until I met you."

"I'll go with you." Emma finally smiled.

"Wait, really?" Killian beamed.

"Yeah. This means a lot to you, and I don't want to let you down." Emma replied, laughing when he hugged her tight.

"You've no idea how much this means to me, Emma." Killian whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"I think I've got a little bit of an idea." Emma smiled, breathing in his strong cologne. He smelled like home.

Killian tugged away only to pull her close again, his lips crashing ungracefully into hers. She laughed at him when he missed her mouth the second time.

"Smooth, lover boy." Emma smiled, "Now, go do something. I really need to finish this."

"As you wish, love." Killian smirked, unceremoniously falling onto her bed. Emma rolled her eyes with a smile, turning back to her laptop.

"Mm, your bed smells like you."

"No, it smells like you, since you insist on laying on it all the time." Emma spoke highly, trying her hardest not to smile.

"I suppose." Killian replied, grabbing Emma's pencil cup, emptying it of pencils, then proceeding to toss the cup above his head.

Emma knew it was going to end badly, probably with him hitting himself in the head with the damn thing, so she sighed and turned to him.

"Want me to do this later?"

"You know me so well." Killian grinned, setting the cup back on her desk.

"You are so needy, you know that?"

"Yes, love, I do." Killian replied with raised brows, almost proudly. Emma shook her head before getting onto the bed and crawling to lie in front of him, her back to him. She felt his warm breath on her neck, shooting a chill down her back.

"Mm. See? This is nice."

"Yeah, but it's also keeping me from—"

"Stop worrying for five seconds, would you?" Killian whispered, stroking her hair back behind her ear.

"I can't. It's in my nature to worry."

"Let me help, then." Killian replied softly, pressing a rough kiss to her neck. She fought a squirm when the sensation warmed her body, closing her eyes and letting herself relax, as Killian had suggested. His kiss was rhythmic, soothing, and it didn't bother Emma that he was leaving his mark.

"Feeling better, Emma?" Killian rasped in her ear, earning a nod in response, "Good."

She closed her eyes again as he started another one, this time further down her neck, closer to her shoulder. Emma didn't ever want him to stop.

* * *

"What happened to you?" Mary whispered as she hurried to catch up with Emma.

"Nothing."

"Did someone hurt you?"

"No."

"What are these, then? Are they—oh, Emma, are they hickeys?" Mary whispered in shock, causing Emma to furrow her brows.

"Why do you say it like that, like it's some kind of sin?" Emma scoffed.

"You didn't do a great job of covering them, you know."

"Why does that matter? Everyone seems to know that he and I are together." Emma replied.

"I don't know… most people cover them."

"Whatever. I'm not most people."

"Did something happen yesterday?" Mary asked, and Emma wanted to snap at her, but she knew that Mary wasn't trying to be invasive, she just looked out for Emma. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but she liked that Mary did that.

"No, I mean, he asked me to Prom, so he and I—"

"He what?" Mary beamed, "Emma!"

"What?" Emma raised a brow.

"He asked you to Prom?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, we are kind of a thing." Emma replied, confused as Mary practically bounced in front of her, "I don't really understand what's going on right now."

"Emma! We have to go dress shopping!" She squealed.

"Okay, I'll go dress shopping, but why are you acting weird?"

"She gets kind of motherly sometimes." A male voice said from behind. Emma turned to see none other than David.

He was taller than most guys (including Killian), standing well over six feet tall. His mousy brown curls smattered his head, and his soft blue eyes were more than inviting. Nearly every day, he wore his Lacrosse Varsity jacket, a token of being the best, he'd claimed. Emma had only met him a few times, but the times she did, he and Mary's eyes nearly never left each other's. It was like nothing else in the world even existed. She found it a little weird.

"Yeah, I've noticed." Emma smiled as he wrapped his arm around Mary's shoulder.

"We still need to do a double date." David grinned.

"I'll ask Killian when I see him next. I think he'd like that a lot." Emma offered.

"We'll see you later, okay, Emma? I'll text you to find a good time for dress shopping!" Mary exclaimed as the two diverged into a classroom. Emma sighed and shook her head, tugging the collar of her leather jacket closer to her neck.

"Something wrong, love?" Killian's voice asked, causing Emma to jump.

"Please don't scare me." Emma sighed, her hand on her chest.

"Sorry, love." Killian replied, wrapping his arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her cheek, "How's your day been?"

"Pretty good. I just saw David and Mary—they're still asking about that double date."

"We'll just have to appease them, then." Killian grinned, "I'm glad your day is well. Is your neck okay?"

"It's fine, I just… people have been staring."

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine, I should have covered them up." Emma shook her head, "It wasn't your fault."

"Okay." Killian replied, offering a relieved smile, "Any plans later?"

"None that don't include you." Emma grinned, earning a laugh from Killian.

"Nice one, love. Well, then, I don't think it would be too much to ask for you to curl up under some blankets and watch a movie tonight?"

"My schedule just might allow for that." Emma teased, "Oh, this is my class. I'll see you later?"

"Is that even a question, love?" Killian grinned, causing Emma to smile as he pressed a kiss to her lips, "See you later."

He watched her walk into the classroom before sighing dreamily.

"She's perfect." He whispered to himself.

* * *

Later that night, the two did just as Killian had suggested—and they managed to finally do that double date they had promised Mary and David.

"Are you seriously building a pillow fort?" Emma grinned as she put the popcorn bag into the microwave.

"Yeah! If we're going to have guests, we should treat them well!" Killian smiled from under some sheets.

"You're an idiot." Emma laughed softly.

"But, I'm your favorite idiot, right?"

"Always." Emma smiled.

"Good to know." Killian replied with raised brows, "But, I kind of already knew."

"Oh, did you?" Emma laughed.

"I did!"

The doorbell rang before Emma could reply, causing Killian to scramble to his feet and to the front door.

"You're a puppy, you know that?" Emma laughed, watching him excitedly open the door, "You aren't badass like you think you are."

"You keep on thinking that, love." Killian spoke with a smolder before opening the door and greeting their guests.

"Hey, guys!" Emma called from the kitchen.

"The house smells wonderful!" Mary exclaimed, hurrying into the kitchen.

"It's just popcorn and coffee, nothing special." Emma laughed.

"Hey, I'm totally down for junk food!" David smiled as he walked in, greeting Killian with some bizarre handshake that was too complicated for Emma to think about for too long.

"So, Emma," Mary giggled as she averted her eyes from the boys, "When do you want to go shopping?"

"Any time is good, I guess." Emma shrugged, "I don't have anything going on this week but filling out those damn applications."

"You'll find a better job, honey. I promise." Mary Margaret smiled, setting her hand on Emma's arm.

"Thanks, Mary." Emma replied with a half-smile.

"The movie's about to start!" Killian exclaimed from inside the fort, making both girls laugh.

"We'll be over in a second." Emma smiled, grabbing the popcorn from the microwave and pouring it into a large bowl, "Mary, can you get the coffee mugs?"

"Of course!" She exclaimed as Emma left the kitchen and walked into the living area. She rolled her eyes and got down on her knees to crawl into the fort.

"I'm actually a little impressed at your fort-building skills, Killian." Emma smiled, laughing as he tugged her close by her waist, "Hey! I almost spilled the popcorn!"

"But, you didn't, love." Killian grinned, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she set the popcorn bowl on the blankets. She shifted in Killian's warm arms, smiling when he shifted along with her.

"You're an idiot." She mumbled.

"What was that, love?" Killian whispered with a smile, gently tickling her sides.

"Stop!" Emma spoke with a squeaky laugh—a laugh that certainly wasn't her usual laugh.

"That was new." Mary Margaret giggled as she crawled in, pushing the tray with four mugs of coffee and creamer on it. David pulled her close, making her giggle as well.

"Killian, you are ridiculous." Emma grumbled as she grabbed her coffee mug.

"Mm, am I?"

Emma rolled her eyes with a smile, giggling softly when he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"So, what movie are we watching?" Mary asked.

"Breakfast Club!" Killian and David exclaimed in unison, making the girls laugh.

"A true classic." Emma smiled.

* * *

After the first movie, there were two more. Mary Margaret and David left after the last movie, so Killian and Emma retreated to Emma's room so she could finish her applications.

"Emma, love, it's past eleven. Why don't we work on this tomorrow?"

"It'll never get done if I keep putting it off."

"Doing it tomorrow would be a better idea, though."

"You're the procrastinator in my head, Killian." Emma smiled as she typed.

"You were never one, I assume."

"I wouldn't say never, but hardly. I usually like doing things as I get them." Emma replied.

"Darling, it's getting really late. I'm sure if you do this tomorrow morning, you'll be fine." Killian smiled, turning her desk chair around. Emma smiled up to him as he leaned down to kiss her—or so she thought. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, causing her to flail to try and get out.

"Killian!"

"What, love?" He laughed as he carried her down the hall, "It's bedtime for us."

"You are ridiculous." Emma sighed as he set her down on his bed.

"If ridiculous will make you stay, I'll be all kinds of ridiculous." Killian grinned.

"Just go to sleep." Emma smiled, whacking him with his pillow.


	10. April (Part II)

_A/N: Aaaaah, things are getting stickier and touchier. Just wait. Also, much angst. Sorry._

_While writing, I listened to 'Enchanted' by Owl City, 'Don't You Forget About Me' by the Simple Minds, 'She Will Be Loved' by Maroon 5, & 'Tessellate' by Mumford & Sons. Enjoy!_

* * *

"Mary Margaret, I can't do this."

"Why not?" She asked as she curled Emma's hair carefully.

"I don't like school dances. I can't go."

"But, you went in November."

"That was different, I was trying to prove a point—I can't do this."

"Emma, is there something you aren't telling me?"

Emma turned around in her chair, offering a nod. Mary Margaret moved to sit on the counter, her thin eyebrows furrowed.

"What happened?" She asked.

"I was only fourteen, I didn't know what I was doing. I wanted a boyfriend, someone who could love me. So, I went to the winter dance with some kid I didn't even really know, and… I was so stupid." Emma stopped and put her face in her hands.

"Emma, please don't cry." Mary Margaret said, setting her hand on Emma's shoulder.

"He took it from me. He stole my innocence. I was only fourteen—do you know many fourteen year olds who have had an abortion?" Emma cried, making Mary's heart break.

"Emma, Killian wouldn't do that to you. I promise. He would never want to hurt you." Mary replied.

"I know, I just… It's so hard for me to trust people, and I want to trust Killian, but my mind keeps telling me that it'll hurt me." Emma whimpered.

"Not every guy is like that. Killian truly adores you. He wants nothing more than for you to be happy. I promise."

"I want to trust him, I do—"

"Then, take that leap, Emma. Sometimes taking a risk proves to be the best thing that's happened to you." Mary said, hugging Emma tightly, "Killian loves you, Emma. He would never want to see you hurt. I promise."

"Thank you." Emma sniffed and tugged away, "I'm sorry I just messed up my makeup."

"It's not a problem at all. We've got time." Mary smiled, "Now, let's finish up your hair, okay? Once this is done, you need to put your beautiful dress on!"

"Thank you." Emma nodded.

"Of course, Emma." Mary Margaret smiled, continuing to curl Emma's hair.

"Oh, Emma, he's going to fall to his knees when he sees you!" Mary exclaimed with a smile as Emma stepped into the room.

"I feel like an oversized Barbie doll." She sighed.

"Do you not like it?"

"No, I do, I'm just not really used to getting all dressed up." Emma replied as she looked in the mirror. The light blue dress had a sweetheart neckline, with small, tulle straps. The bodice was all sparkles, and the skirt was tulle, like the straps.

"Well, you look gorgeous."

"_I_ look gorgeous?" Emma smiled, turning to face her friend, "Mary Margaret, that color looks so beautiful on you."

"Aww, you're sweet, Emma!" She giggled, "Thank you."

"When did Killian and David say they were coming?" Emma asked, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I think they said six—so, like ten minutes. Prom doesn't start until eight." Mary replied, "Gosh, I can't get over how gorgeous you look! That dress fits you perfectly."

"Thanks, Mary." Emma blushed, her lips parting a little when she heard the doorbell.

"C'mon!" Mary exclaimed.

"Mind if I take a minute?" Emma asked.

"Of course not." Mary replied, "We'll be waiting downstairs."

Emma nodded, tucking her bangs behind her ear. After Mary left, she took a deep breath, looking in the mirror again. She didn't want this to end the way it did only three years prior. She wanted to trust Killian. She knew she could. But, her brain wouldn't.

After a few minutes, Emma closed her eyes. He was waiting.

"Emma, are you coming, love?" Killian's voice echoed down the hall. She quickly brushed off the imaginary dust from her dress and looked up just as Killian stopped in the doorway.

"Oh, Emma." He breathed, "You look—"

"Like a Barbie."

"No… You look beautiful." He spoke with a smile, taking a step closer. Emma tucked her chin into her shoulder, hiding a smile.

"Thank you." She replied as he gently moved a tendril of hair from her face, "You look handsome yourself."

"Thanks, love." Killian chuckled, taking her hands in his and taking a step back, surveying her dress.

"So, um, do we need to…" Emma said, her voice getting quieter as she spoke—Killian was coming closer, his lips within reach. Finally, he settled his hand on her neck, pulling her close and crashing his lips against hers. Emma tried to loosen up her body, but she couldn't shake the feeling.

"Emma, love, you're so tense." Killian noted, breaking their lips apart, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong, I promise." Emma replied with a quick smile.

"You can't lie to me, love." Killian grinned, stroking her cheek, "What's up?"

"I don't know. I'm just nervous about this whole 'Prom' thing."

"We don't have to—"

"I didn't go through the trouble of dress shopping to miss out." Emma smiled, "I'm just nervous, that's all. I'm sure we'll have an amazing time."

"The night of our lives?" Killian smirked, making Emma laugh.

"Sure, lover boy. Let's go." Emma giggled, tugging his hand and dragging him down the hallway.

* * *

After dinner was over, the group drove over to the venue. It was already full inside, and all Emma could think of was the dance three years prior.

"Emma, love, will you dance with me?" Killian offered with a smile.

Emma looked out to the crowd of people dancing, catching Mary's eyes as she motioned for her to go out.

"Yeah." Emma finally replied with a smile.

"Emma, love, do you totally hate this?" Killian asked as the two started dancing to whatever pop song was blaring.

"No, I don't, I promise." Emma replied, forcing a smile.

"You don't seem like you're having fun." Killian said, stopping his movements. Emma rolled her eyes and pressed her back to his side, bending her knees. She slid down his body, her hand trailing above her, then stood back up with a smile to see Killian's face bright red.

"Oh, I'm having fun." Emma grinned, trying to forget her past.

"Keep dancing like that, love, and… well, I'm afraid we might have to leave a bit early."

Emma smirked, dancing around him as he grabbed her hips to keep her in one place.

"Mm, grabby, are we?" Emma teased, turning in his hands to face him. She started swaying her hips, causing Killian to as well, tugging her closer to his body.

"This song is so disgusting." Killian laughed.

"It makes for a perfect raunchy-dancing song." Emma replied with a raised brow, earning the notion in return.

The song came to a close, and in its place was another upbeat song.

"Ready for another bout, love?" Killian grinned, reaching up and tapping Emma's lip once.

"Yeah, I think so." Emma smirked back, still trying to suppress the memories.

* * *

After what seemed like forever of dirty dancing, a slow song finally bellowed through the speakers. Killian took no time in tugging Emma as close as he could. She settled her cheek on his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his neck.

"Emma, love, are you still enjoying it?"

"Will you stop asking me that question?" Emma whispered in his ear, "I'm here with you. I couldn't be happier."

"Emma, I want to spend the rest of forever with you."

"That's a pretty bold decision." Emma replied, "Do you really want to deal with me for that long?"

"Of course. You mean more to me than anything in the universe, love."

"Another bold decision."

"One that I intend on keeping." Killian whispered.

That's when Emma knew he was the right one. She'd finally found him. For once, she felt like she didn't have to keep running anymore—Emma was finally in the right place. She'd found her home.

* * *

The two danced the night away, only stopping when they decided that they were both ready for something new.

Killian spent no time opening the front door and carrying Emma upstairs, her legs around his waist as their lips collided. He gently set her down on his bed before crawling on top of her. She worked his tie until it was off, tossing it into the floor.

Within moments, Emma had slipped out of her dress, and Killian out of his suit. The two spent a good minute staring at each other, trying to decide where to go.

"Emma, is this okay?" Killian whispered.

"Yes." Emma nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Are you?"

"Of course." Killian spoke with a tired smile.

"Let's go, then." Emma grinned.

After a few minutes, the two lied on their backs, trying to catch their breath. Their eyes never left each other's, green meeting blue in a sea of passion. Emma couldn't help but smile.

"How was it?" Killian asked.

"Good. Very good." Emma nodded.

"Was that, um, your first time?"

"Um, no. I was... It's a long story." Emma replied, "You?"

"No." Killian shook his head.

"Now we're really bound together, aren't we?" Emma smiled nervously, causing Killian to tug her closer.

"I'm afraid so, love." Killian smiled back, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I think I need some rest, if that's okay."

"No, I forbid you to get any rest. How dare you even ask." Killian teased, earning a playful whack, "Goodnight, love. Tonight was perfect."

"Goodnight, Killian." She whispered back, tucking her face between his neck and his shoulder.

* * *

Emma woke up once, early in the morning. She glanced around before lying back down. Her eyes traced over the curve of Killian's body, even under the sheets. His face looked so peaceful, so innocent, as he slept. She supposed that most people looked like that when they slept, but there was something different about Killian.

His breath was even, a gentle rhythm that filled the otherwise silent room. Emma smiled a little as he shifted just the slightest, moving his arm to bring her closer. _Protective in his sleep, even_, she smiled. She couldn't imagine spending a night like that with anyone else but him. He was so gentle, so careful, unlike others she'd been with.

Which, to her, was ironic, given that he put on a tough façade. He acted differently around her, like he was protecting her from something she didn't know about. She decided she didn't want to know, if there was anything.

"Em?" Killian mumbled, stirring a little.

"I'm still here, Killian." Emma whispered, blushing under his hand that now caressed her cheek.

"Mm. You are so lovely." Killian whispered, making Emma smile.

"You are, too." Emma replied.

"I just had a dream that you and I were dancing in the twilight, in a beautiful meadow." Killian whispered.

"That sounds perfect." Emma replied with a small smile.

"It was." Killian smiled back, "Mm, what time is it?"

"Five." Emma yawned, "Which means back to sleep."

"I'll make breakfast later." Killian promised.

"I like that idea." Emma grinned as she shifted onto her side. Killian wrapped his arm around her over the sheets, and Emma linked her fingers with his.

"Goodnight, my love." Killian whispered.

"Goodnight, Killian." Emma breathed.

* * *

Later in the morning, after the two woke up and dressed, something kept poking at the back of Emma's mind. And Killian picked up on it.

"Something wrong, love?" He asked, sitting beside her with a fresh mug of coffee for her.

"I have to tell you something." She admitted, "But, I don't know how to."

"Are you okay?" Killian pressed, making Emma offer a small smile.

"Not exactly. There's, um, something I've been meaning to tell you."

"Emma, you're scaring me."

"You know... I told you last night that this wasn't my first time, right?" Emma sighed, earning a nod, "My first time wasn't even my choice, really. I mean, I stupidly consented to it, but I wasn't ready at all. I was, um... I was fourteen."

"Fourteen isn't the worst I've heard, love." Killian assured her.

"That's not the worst of it." Emma replied, "He made me feel special, like I meant something to him. I found out later that I was entirely wrong, but that's another story. I didn't know what I was doing-we didn't use protection or anything. A few weeks after... I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't do it, I couldn't have a kid when I still was one. So, I... Got rid of the problem."

Emma couldn't finish before she broke down. Killian tugged her close, stroking the back of her head to comfort her.

"Emma, love... It's okay." Killian whispered, "You made the right decision. I promise."

"I'm sorry I haven't told you before, I just-"

"No, Emma, you didn't have to tell me at all. The fact that you did just means that you trust me. And I promise that I will never do anything to break that trust."

"Thank you, Killian." Emma whispered.

"Shh... Please don't cry, love." He replied, tugging away and kissing her temple, letting his lips linger.

"Thank you," Emma sniffed, wiping her eyes, "For not running."

"Why would I run?"

"How many seventeen year olds do you know that can say they've had an abortion?" Emma asked.

"You aren't alone, Emma." Killian promised, "I'm sure of it."

Emma nodded, looking down to her lap.

"Hey," Killian said, gently lifting her chin, "Please don't beat yourself up."

"I think I want to alone for a little while." Emma sighed, earning a kiss to her forehead.

"Of course, love." Killian replied.

* * *

Emma laid in her room for a while, staring at the wall and thinking. She had pushed all of the memories out of her head long ago, so resurfacing them was unpleasant, to say the least.

Her thoughts were only interrupted by a noise at the window. She ignored the first one, but the second tick caused her to sit up and turn to the window. Something large and brown (she thought it was a pine cone) hit it again, so she slipped off the bed and went to sit on her bench. She glanced out the window to see none other than Killian standing in the front yard, dressed like Judd Nelson from Breakfast Club. He was carrying a giant boom box (_where did he get that?_) on his shoulder, and there was a wide smile on his face.

Emma immediately opened the window, confused as to what was going on.

"Killian, what are you-"

He ignored her, pressing play on the boom box and causing 'Don't You (Forget About Me)' to blare through the neighborhood. Emma couldn't hold back a smile, much less her laugh.

"You are insane!" Emma laughed, covering her mouth.

"If being that's what being in love is, then, yes! I am quite insane!" Killian beamed. Emma couldn't help but smile wider, realizing just how in love with this idiot she was.

"What will it take for you to come back inside?" She asked. Killian simply pointed to the boom box as it sang: 'When you walk on by, will you call my name?'.

"You heard Simple Minds!" Killian grinned, "Will you call my name?"

Emma rolled her eyes with a smile before shaking her head.

"Killian!" She shouted.

He set the boom box down and simply raised one hand, just like the end scene of the movie. Emma's laughter multiplied as she watched him, entirely sure that she was falling in love with him for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. She hurried out of her room and down the stairs, crashing into Killian's arms just as he walked inside.

"I want you to be happy, Emma. That's all I want for you." Killian whispered.

"Thank you." Emma replied, pressing a kiss to his neck.

Maybe he wasn't perfect, and maybe she wasn't either, but none of that mattered. They found each other, two diamonds in the rough. And for the first time in a long time, Emma felt like she was supposed to be in his arms.


	11. May

_A/N: I am so sorry this took so long to put up! I've been out of town for the past week and a half, and I had no wifi. I meant to post last Thursday before I left, but clearly I did not. To compensate, I'll post two chapters this week!_

_Hopefully amidst all of the angst, there's a handful of fluff in this chapter. I tried making it fluffy, anyways. Now we're really in the home stretch, and I just want to thank you guys again for all of your support! You guys are the reason I keep writing this, why I keep posting. I love each and every one of you!_

_While I wrote this, I listened to 'Best Day Of My Life' by American Authors, 'Come With Me Now' by the Kongos, & 'Counting Stars' by OneRepublic. I have to say, this is probably the one chapter where I listened to all upbeat music! Enjoy!_

* * *

Emma smiled as she leaned on the doorframe, watching Killian take advantage of his Saturday morning. The morning of his birthday.

Killian was sound asleep, sprawled out all over his bed. His arm hung off the edge, his mouth open and emitting a quiet snore. Emma didn't want to wake him, but it was nearing eleven, and she had something special planned for him tonight that she needed to get him out of the house for.

"Killian, it's almost eleven." Emma finally said, walking slowly to the bed. She shook his arm gently, ceasing his snoring and causing him to stir a little.

"Eleven?" He mumbled.

"Yeah, and it's a very special day." Emma whispered with a smile, brushing some of his hair back.

"Mm?"

"Please tell me you didn't forget your own birthday."

"It appears I have." He smiled, yawning and sitting up.

"Well, happy birthday, Killian." Emma grinned, pressing her lips to his gently.

"Thank you, love."

"I made breakfast, too, if you're hungry. Don't get too excited—it's coffee and toast."

"It sounds lovely." Killian chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to her lips, "I'll be down in a few."

Emma smiled and started walking towards the door before Killian called her name again.

"I forgot one more kiss." Killian grinned, blowing her a kiss. Emma laughed and pretended to catch it and press it to her own lips.

"Thank you." She smiled, blowing one back and walking down the stairs, still laughing a little.

Emma only waited for a few minutes before Killian was hurrying down the stairs, dressed in casual clothing.

"What are you doing, love?" Killian asked, startling Emma as she searched through the cabinet.

"I wasn't trying to be nosy, but you two have a lot of weird mugs."

"Like what?" Killian smiled, walking to her and standing just behind her.

"Central Perk?" Emma laughed, holding it up, then another, "And 'Damn Fine Cup of Coffee'? I actually really like that one."

"You're welcome to use whatever one you want." Killian chuckled.

"'World's Okayest Brother'?" Emma laughed, tossing her head back, "What does that even mean?"

"I'm the okayest brother ever!" Killian grinned.

"I'm just going to pretend like I understand that." Emma smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips and moving to the coffee maker with her new mug.

"You like that one, huh?" Killian grinned, leaning on the counter beside her.

"I do." Emma smiled, pouring herself some coffee.

"It suits you, Swan."

"Now, there's a retired nickname." Emma spoke with raised brows.

"I like it." Killian smiled as he watched her pour him a mug, "It doesn't get as much mileage as it should."

"Maybe it's like that for a reason." Emma grinned, sauntering past him and heading for the couch. Killian hurried behind her, rushing in front of her to sit on the couch first. He wasn't careful when he sat down, causing his coffee to spill all over himself.

"Ah, fuck!" He exclaimed, standing up and shaking off some of the coffee.

"Oh, Killian!" Emma shouted, running into the kitchen and grabbing the paper towels, "Don't move too much!"

"Okay." He sighed. Emma hurried back, tearing some paper towels off and handing them to him.

"I'm sorry this isn't a great start to your birthday." Emma sighed, offering a small smile.

"It's alright, love. It was my fault." Killian replied, drying off his arms.

"Here, lift up your arms." Emma said, and Killian followed. She gently tugged the shirt over his head, smiling at his bare chest.

"I'm going to go get a new shirt." Killian said, his lips splitting into a grin when he noticed Emma's smile, "Or, you know, not."

She set her hands on his waist, fighting the urge to run her hands over his chest. Killian seemed to read her mind, smirking as he took her hands and set them on his torso. Emma could feel each taut muscle in his abdomen, making her heart race.

"Mm, what a lovely birthday." He smirked, taking a step closer, wreaking of coffee. He tangled his fingers in Emma's tresses, bringing their lips together in a single movement.

"Go get a new shirt, you idiot." Emma giggled, shoving him away.

"I prefer 'you sexy, handsome'—"

"Go." Emma laughed shoving him harder. He tossed his head back with a laugh as he ascended the stairs. Emma rolled her eyes with a smile, bending down and cleaning up the small mess he made.

After a few moments, Killian's feet hurried down the stairs, causing Emma to look over the back of the couch.

"Emma, David just asked if I wanted to go hang out, so I'll be back later!"

"Where are you two going?" She smiled.

"Don't know, he won't tell me." Killian laughed, walking to the couch to press a quick kiss to Emma's lips before hurrying out the door.

As soon as he shut the door, Emma whipped out her phone and called Mary Margaret.

"Killian left, you ready?" Emma asked.

"Yep! I'm just down the street!" Mary exclaimed.

"Okay, I'll start getting the stuff out." Emma smiled and hung up, hurrying into the kitchen, her socks slipping as she bumped against the counter. She squatted down in front of the cabinet she'd been putting decorations in for the past week, carefully tugging the packages out of their places and setting them up on the counter. There was a knock at the door, causing Emma to stand up and nearly hit her head on the counter.

"Come in!" Emma shouted. The door opened, and Mary hurried into the kitchen.

"Oh, Emma, Killian is going to love this!" Mary squealed.

"Well, wait until he sees my present." Emma sighed with a smile, leaning on the counter, "He's been trying to Skype with Liam a lot lately, but every time he does, it ends up going out on him. So, this week, in between being at work and when Killian was out of the house, I worked out most of the kinks, so I think he should be able to talk to him for a while."

"Oh, Emma!" Mary smiled, her hand over her heart, "He will love that so much."

"I'm hoping he will." Emma said, "I didn't really have enough money to buy him something nice, so—"

"Emma, he'll love it." Mary grinned.

"You think?"

"Yes, I do." Mary smiled, "Now, let's start getting these decorations done before the boys come back!"

Emma giggled, taking some of the streamers from the pile of decorations.

* * *

After most of the day had passed, Mary and Emma were finishing up. Midway through Emma setting up some of the food, Mary Margaret's phone started ringing, causing her to nearly drop the platter she was carrying.

"Hey, David!" Mary smiled, putting the phone on speaker phone.

"_Hey, baby."_ David spoke lovingly, and Emma rolled her eyes with a smile to Mary, _"So, there's a problem."_

"Uh-oh. What kind of problem?"

"_I don't know how much longer I can keep him out of the house. He's actually waiting for me right now—I told him I had to go to the bathroom."_

"Okay, well, just keep him away for another thirty minutes—that should be enough time, I think." Mary shrugged.

"Yeah, thirty minutes should be enough." Emma added.

"_Okay, I'll try. I'll text you if I can't."_ David said.

"Sounds perfect! I love you!"

"_I love you, too, Mary." _David spoke sweetly before hanging up.

"We'd better start picking up the pace." Emma sighed, "I haven't even started setting up the Skype thing on the TV yet."

"You go do that, I'll finish doing the food." Mary replied, causing Emma to nod.

"Okay." Emma said, hurrying into the living room and turning on the TV, then her laptop. She tapped a few keys, then smiled when the TV started showing what she was doing on her laptop. Upon opening up Skype, she was able to find that Liam was online. She clicked his name, waiting for it to pop up on her screen.

"_Emma?"_ Liam's pixelated face asked with a smile.

"Hey!" She grinned, waving, "So, I think I've got this worked out!"

"_Awesome!"_ He smiled, _"This is the best present you could have gotten him, Emma."_

"I hope so."

"_Seriously, don't worry about this, Emma. He'll love that you've done all of this for you." _Liam assured her.

"Thanks. I think he'll like seeing you."

"_I hope he does."_ Liam chuckled, _"How've you been, Swan? Holding down the fort?"_

"Sort of." Emma smiled, rubbing the back of her neck, "Killian really misses you."

"_I know. Just keep telling him I'll be back at the end of summer." _Liam replied,_ "That's all you can do."_

"Emma, they're almost here!" Mary exclaimed, "David just texted me!"

"Shit. Liam, we'll call you later, okay?"

"_Sure thing. I've got nothing going on tonight." _Liam smiled just before Emma disconnected. The door opened as she turned off the TV and shut her laptop, and she hurried to the door to greet Killian.

"Happy birthday!" Emma and Mary exclaimed as they hurried to the door. She let Mary hug him first, then smiled when he pulled her close as well.

"You've done too much." He whispered, causing Emma to tug away with a smile.

"Do you like it?" Emma asked, smiling as she and Mary gestured to what they did.

"I love it." He chuckled.

"Do you see now why I was trying to keep you out of the house?" David laughed, earning a playful shove as the group walked to the kitchen.

"Seriously, you guys went way too far." Killian chuckled, "I love it."

"Well, we figured that your birthday should be a good one." Emma shrugged.

"Emma really should take more credit for this than either of us." David said.

"Oh, no—"

"Seriously, she orchestrated all of this. Nearly all of the decorations and stuff were hers, the whole idea was hers—and I think it turned out lovely." Mary smiled.

"Killian, I can't take all of the credit. Mary and David helped a lot, too. I couldn't have pulled all of this off without them." Emma said.

"Enough taking the blame—I'm starving." Killian teased, causing everyone to laugh.

* * *

The group spent the rest of the evening snacking, sharing all kinds of stories ranging from school gossip to childhood memories. Later in the night, Emma suggested that he opened his gifts.

"Mary, David, you two can go first." Emma smiled, and Mary grinned, handing Killian a box.

"It's not a lot, but hopefully something you'll enjoy." David grinned. Killian's smile grew as he began tearing through the sparkly wrapping paper (that was clearly Mary's doing). There was a shirtbox under all the paper, causing Killian to bring it to his ear and shake it, raising a brow.

"Just open it." David laughed.

Killian smiled to him before carefully opening the box. In it was a white shirt with a navy anchor on it.

"Ah!" He laughed, holding it up, "This is great!"

"We saw it and knew how much you'd like it." Mary grinned.

"I love it." Killian smiled, trying to fold the shirt and placing it back into the box, "Thank you both."

"Of course." David smiled.

"Emma's turn!" Mary grinned, causing Emma to blush as she stood up.

"Okay, so it's not really a material thing, but I think you'll still enjoy it. If you could, close your eyes." She smiled, taking his hand and dragging him to the TV. Emma quickly typed in her password for Skype and clicked on Liam's name.

"What are we—"

"_Happy birthday, Killy!"_ Liam's voice exclaimed, causing Killian's eyes to shoot open. He laughed as he saw his brother on the TV, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Liam!" He exclaimed, "Wait—it's actually working now?"

"_Yeah!"_ Liam chuckled, _"Your girl, Swan, has been working on it all week!"_

Killian turned to Emma, as if to verify, only to get a shrug in return.

"_How was your birthday, Killy?"_

"It was really good. My beautiful Emma woke me up, then David took me out go-karting and other shenanigans may or may not have happened. And, when I was gone, Emma and Mary Margaret made some delicious food! I'd say it's been a pretty good day!" Killian chuckled.

Emma loved seeing that smile on his face.

"_I'd say! That sounds awesome." _Liam smiled.

"It was. And, now I'm talking to you!" Killian laughed, "It's been pretty great."

"_Oh, hey, I have a present for you, too!" _Liam grinned, _"Go check the coat closet, on the very top shelf. Sorry it isn't wrapped—I'm not really good at it, and Emma wasn't around when I got it."_

Killian bolted to the closet, grabbing the box from the top and hurrying back over. He quickly opened it, only to see Liam's old, leather jacket inside.

"Liam, I can't take this—"

"_You know you've envied that jacket since I bought it. I thought you'd want something special to both of us."_

"You're the best, Liam." Killian grinned.

"Are you gonna try it on?" David asked, causing Killian to chuckle and nod. He handed the box to Emma and slipped into the jacket seamlessly, making him smile.

"How does it look, brother?" Killian smiled.

"_Fits you perfectly. You look like a million bucks."_ Liam chuckled.

"Yeah, I think so, too." Killian smirked.

"_Ha—" _Liam's sentence was cut short when he whipped his head to talk to someone off-screen, _"Sorry, Kill, I've gotta go. I'll talk to you soon, okay? Happy birthday!"_

"Thanks, Liam. Talk to you soon." Killian spoke with a half-smile as Liam disconnected.

* * *

After about another hour, Mary and David left, wishing Killian a happy birthday a few more times before leaving. Once they were gone, Emma and Killian laid on the couch, curled up together under a blanket.

"Your present was the best, Emma." Killian whispered.

"Oh, hush." Emma said, "I couldn't even get you something material."

"You didn't need to. What you did was more than enough." Killian smiled.

"I'm glad you think so." Emma replied softly, pressing a kiss to his neck.

"Humble, Swan." Killian grinned, "You're far too humble."

"Am I?" Emma smiled, tugging away enough to see his teasing expression.

"Yes." He grinned, gently touching his nose to hers, "Can I tell you something, love?"

"Of course. You know you can tell me anything." Emma smiled, "But, if you're lying, I'll catch it."

Killian chuckled at that, rubbing his nose against hers once more. For a few seconds she closed her eyes as his scruff rubbed gently against the sensitive skin of her chin, only opening them again when Killian spoke.

"I love you, Emma Swan." He whispered. Emma's breath hitched in her throat at the words. She met his eyes, the blue eyes she felt like she'd known for years, searching for any kind of lie. She turned up empty-handed.

"I love you, too, Killian." She breathed, huddling closer to his warmth.

"Yeah?"

"I do." Emma nodded, her lips splitting into a smile as Killian tugged her closer.

"I'm certainly glad to hear that, love."

"You know, probably six months ago, I would have slapped you for saying that."

"You would have slapped anyone for even uttering it around you." Killian teased, making Emma laugh.

"True, very true." Emma smiled, tugging away a little to see Killian's shining blue eyes, "You know what's amazing?"

"What?"

"Your eyes."

"Hm?"

"Your eyes. They change colors."

"They're blue, love."

"I know, I know," Emma smiled as she flicked his nose, "But, they change shades."

"Do they?"

"Yeah. Sometimes, they're really dark, like a tempestuous sea—"

"Such vocabulary." Killian spoke with a false gasp, causing Emma to whack the side of his head.

"I'm trying to be romantic for once."

"And how's that working out for you, love?"

Emma shot him a glare with tight lips, causing him to bite his lip in an attempt to not laugh—which failed miserably.

"I'm sorry, love," He smiled, recomposing himself, "Continue."

"I hate you."

"I don't believe that's what you said a few moments ago."

Emma rolled her eyes and started shifting, as if she was going to get off the couch. Killian gently grabbed her wrist, tugging her back.

"I'm sorry, love. I promise I'll let you continue." Killian swore, "Now, about my eyes…"

Emma blinked a few times, then met Killian's eyes again.

"Like, right now, they're shining, they're clear. Almost transparent." Emma sighed, moving her hand to brush some of his thick hair back, then settling her hand on the side of his face, "Other times, they're simply blue. I don't know. Is it weird for me to notice this?"

"No, I actually find it quite charming, dear." Killian smiled, leaning forward to press his lips to hers, not once, but twice, before tugging away.

"Is it okay-?"

"Love, we need to stop asking each other that question." Killian chuckled, "We just said we love each other—we should be able to say whatever we want to each other, and expect that it's okay."

"Okay." Emma smiled, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Emma." Killian whispered, leaning his head forward as his hand tangled in Emma's hair. Their lips met, opening and closing on each other. Emma tilted her head to accompany him, her hand squeezing his shoulder.

"Shall we take this upstairs?" Killian suggested against her lips, to which Emma nodded. He moved his hands to her back before sitting up and rising off the couch. Emma clung to him, wrapping her legs around his torso and holding on tightly.

"You remind me of one of those small monkeys." Killian smiled as he carried her up the stairs.

"Thanks?" Emma giggled, "Killing the mood a bit."

"You're a very sexy little monkey." Killian purred into her ear, making Emma laugh harder.

"Not helping." She laughed.

"This should be fun, then." Killian smirked, laying her on the bed and perching himself over her body. He set a hand on each side of her head, smirking down to her.

"Isn't it always fun?" Emma grinned, reaching up and peeling Killian's jacket off.

"It sure is, love." Killian purred, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her lips. _A lovely birthday, indeed_, he thought with a mischievous grin.


	12. June (Part I)

_A/N: So, here's the last month of the regular chapters, aside from the epilogue. It truly has been a lovely journey with all of you, and I'm beginning to plan out a sequel to this story, since I've gotten such a lovely response! Anyways, I apologize in advance for this chapter—it's long and very, very, feels-y._

_I listened to 'End Of The Line' from the Winter Soldier soundtrack, 'Fare Thee Well' by Mumford and Sons, 'Ghosts That We Knew' by Mumford and Sons, & 'Wipe Your Eyes' by Maroon 5. Enjoy._

* * *

Emma needed to get out of the house. For whatever reason, she wasn't scheduled to work the entire week, so she had nothing to do with Killian being at work.

She really only had him, then Mary & David-but, they were on some cruise in the Caribbean, so they were out of the picture.

The clock neared three, which meant Killian would get off work soon. He had been working since early that morning, and Emma couldn't seem to find a good way to pass the time.

"I'm home!" Killian's voice echoed through the foyer. Emma glanced to the clock only for a second before Killian's arms were wrapped around her from behind.

"I thought you worked until three?" Emma grinned as she tilted her head to meet his lips.

"Boss let me off early today." Killian murmured, "Meaning you and I can go do something I've always wanted to show you."

"Really?" Emma beamed.

"Of course. Put some shoes on, love!" Killian exclaimed, tugging away. Emma rose to her feet, only to be swept off her feet. She shrieked at the unexpected movement, then laughed when Killian started.

"Oh, love." Killian chuckled as he carried her up the stairs, to her room.

"Don't 'oh, love' me." Emma laughed, squirming out of his arms and walking to her closet. She opened it and bent down to grab a pair of ratty, grey Keds, then hastily tugged them on.

"I'm ready." Emma grinned after rising to her feet.

"Let's go, then! Hop on my back!" He exclaimed, turning around. Emma laughed and hopped onto his back.

"To Neverland!" Killian teased, holding onto her tightly and bolting down the hallway.

* * *

"Killian, where the hell are we going?" Emma asked after at least fifteen minutes of driving through what seemed like the middle of nowhere.

"I told you, love," Killian smiled, "Neverland!"

Emma simply smiled and rolled her eyes, deciding that it didn't really matter where they were going. She just wanted to be out of the house, and more importantly, with Killian.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm great." Emma smiled, linking her fingers with Killian's on the console.

"You just seem a little off." Killian noted.

"I guess I'm just tired. I don't know. I feel off." Emma shrugged, causing Killian to give her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Maybe you just need some fresh air. You've been cooped up in the house all week." Killian smiled.

"Yeah, I think that's exactly what I need." Emma smiled.

"Well, lucky for you, we're here." Killian replied as he parked the car.

"Killian, we're in a field." Emma deadpanned, making Killian laugh.

"Just trust me." He smiled, getting out of the car and stretching. Emma shook her head and got out, following wherever Killian was going.

"Killian, I really don't understand-"

Emma stopped when she saw Killian fall back into the grass with a laugh. He spread his arms and legs out, motioning for Emma to join him. She shook her head with a laugh and laid beside him.

"This is really soft." Emma noted, dragging her fingers across the grassy bed.

"I used to come here when I was a kid-usually when I was upset or I needed to think." Killian said.

"This is a pretty long way for you to run when you were little..."

"We used to live about two blocks down, on a farm."

"A farm?"

"Only for a few years, mostly my middle school years."

"Oh."

"Being out in the open made me realize how small my problems were." Killian sighed, "Then, I met Milah, and the problems seemed to... Fade away. Sort of like those fluffy dandelions."

"I wish mine did." Emma whispered, causing Killian to tug her close. She closed her eyes, only opening them when there was a shadow over her face. Emma raised a brow at Killian's hand holding the small weed over her face.

"What-?"

"Blow on it. Your problems will go away with it." Killian smiled. Emma stared at the puff, then offered a quick breath, causing all of the little fuzzies to float gracefully with the wind.

"Feel better?" Killian smiled.

"A little." Emma grinned, leaning over to kiss him.

"I think I've got just the trick to make you smile." Killian smirked, sitting up a little and setting his hands on Emma's stomach.

"No!" She shrieked as he started tickling her, causing her laughter to echo through the field.

"There's the smile I love!" Killian laughed.

"Stop!" Emma giggled, fighting his hands with her own.

"But, this is much more fun!" Killian laughed before finally falling back onto the ground beside her, still laughing.

"I hate you."

"No, you don't." Killian chuckled.

"You're right, I don't." Emma sighed, snuggling close to him.

"It's a great day to be outside... Not too hot, not to cold-it's perfect."

"I know, it is." Emma smiled.

"Hold on, I'm gonna go get my water from the car." Killian smiled, kissing her cheek and rising to his feet. In the process, he dropped his phone.

"Killian!" She shouted and picked it up, showing it to him.

"I'll be back in a second!" Killian called, hurrying to the car. Emma smiled at his phone's background-it was a picture of them from Prom. _That night was probably the best night of my life_, Emma thought. She smiled at it until a number called that the phone didn't recognize.

"Hey, Kill, someone's calling."

"Who?" He called from the car.

"I don't know, the number isn't one your phone recognizes."

"Answer it, please?"

"Hi, who is this?" Emma asked.

"_This is Lieutenant Smith-is this Liam Jones' next of kin?_" The man asked, and Emma's breath immediately hitched. She sat up slowly and bit her lip.

"Oh, um, no... He's right here, though." Emma said, not sure if she really wanted to give the phone to Killian.

"Who is it? Is it fucking Neal? That-" Killian stopped when he saw the look on Emma's face, "What's wrong?"

Emma hesitantly handed him the phone, knowing that whatever news the Lieutenant had wasn't good news. Emma watched Killian's smile completely dissolve, she watched him as he crumbled to the ground. Emma wrapped her arms around him tightly, not wanting to let go. Killian's sobs ripped through the otherwise quiet field, causing a few birds to flee to refuge in the trees.

"I can't breathe, Emma." Killian sobbed.

"Shh... I've got you, okay? I've got you." Emma whispered, digging the pads of her fingers into his back.

"Emma." He choked.

"We'll work this out, okay? We will." Emma spoke quietly, hiding her own tears from him.

"This isn't real, I'm not... I can't lose him."

"Killian, just try to breathe, okay? Don't start hyperventilating. Just in and out." Emma replied softly, knowing that there was a good chance he'd explode.

"I can't!" He shouted, ripping from Emma's arms.

"Killian, please don't push me away." Emma pleaded, "I know you're upset. But, no matter how bad this gets, I will stick right by your side. I can't see you hurt yourself."

Killian continued his sobbing, unable to stop.

"I need to go home." Killian whimpered.

"Okay. Let's go home." Emma nodded, shakily rising to her feet and holding her hand out for him. He took it gently, standing up and leaning against Emma as they walked. She pressed a kiss to his jaw, leading him to the passenger side of the car.

* * *

The ride back to the house was painful. Each of Killian's sobs made Emma's heart tear in half, as she tried her hardest to keep her own tears in. She needed someone to talk to-she needed Mary Margaret.

Killian ran straight up to his room as soon as he got inside, and for the first time, Emma was able to to release her tears.

_"Emma, are you okay?"_ Mary asked as she heard a whimper on the other side.

"No." Emma admitted, tears present in her voice.

_"What's wrong?"_ She asked, and Emma heard the background noise diminish.

"Um, Liam was killed in action." Emma croaked.

_"Oh my god. No, Emma, please tell me you're joking-"_

"I wish I could." Emma whispered, putting her head in her hand, "I don't know what to do. Killian is... I don't want him to fall apart."

_"Can you hold out until tomorrow? That's when we come home from the cruise."_ Mary Margaret replied, _"I wish I could be there now."_

"I wish you could, too." Emma replied, her bottom lip shaking as she closed her eyes tight.

_"I promise, as soon as we get off this ship, we'll come over. David lost his mother a few years ago... I know it's not the same, but he could maybe help Killian."_

"Thank you, Mary Margaret... You don't have to do all of that-"

_"Of course I do. That's what best friends do."_ She replied, and Emma could feel her smile.

"Thank you."

_"It's really nothing, Emma. Now, go sit with Killian. Even if you're both sobbing, blubbering messes, there's a little comfort in that."_ Mary suggested, making Emma smile.

"I will. Thank you, again."

_"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow."_ She replied, hanging up. Emma wiped her tears hastily before rising to her feet and walking up the stairs. Killian's door was shut, but it wasn't locked. Almost as if he knew she'd come up.

"Killian?" Emma asked as she cracked open the door. She found Killian lying on the bed, facing his large window. Emma gently sat on the bed, setting her hand on his arm.

"Emma, I have to be dreaming."

"Killian, believe me, I wish you were." Emma whispered. He sat up slowly, meeting Emma's bright, green eyes, sighing when she pulled him close.

"We'll get through this, okay?" Emma whispered, her voice cracking, "It'll be harder than anything we've endured before, but we'll do it, I promise."

* * *

After silently lying down for a little bit, Liam's Lieutenant called again, giving Killian his condolences and walking through all of the mess he had to deal with. Emma sat beside him and helped him plan everything out, making sure he knew that this wasn't something he had to do alone.

For the latter part of the night, the two laid on the couch, trying to work it all out, and with a little convincing, Killian even called his estranged mother, telling her. Emma had said she deserved to know.

After lots of planning, paperwork and tears, the two fell asleep on the couch, Killian holding Emma close, afraid Death would take her, too.

* * *

Emma woke up in the morning to the sunlight pouring into the room, her eyes taking a few moments to adjust to the brightness. Killian shifted a little in his sleep, causing Emma to gently turn in his arms. She pressed her nose to his, nestling closer. _Take care of him, Emma. He'll take care of you._

After a few minutes, Killian jolted awake, causing Emma to jump as well. She sighed and gently rubbed the side of her head, closing her eyes.

"Bad dream." He whispered. Emma nodded, opening her eyes and offering a sad smile.

"Are you feeling okay?" Emma asked softly.

"I don't know. I don't really feel anything." Killian said with a long sigh, "I feel numb."

"That's okay." Emma nodded, "It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling."

"Thank you, Emma... For staying."

"I don't have a reason to leave." Emma replied, smiling when Killian kissed her.

"I'm so glad I found you. I wouldn't be able to get through this with anyone else." He whispered.

"You're strong, Killian. I have a feeling that you would be just fine." Emma replied.

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her nose.

"When are Mary Margaret and David stopping by? I need to take a shower before they do."

"I'm not sure. Probably not for a while, though."

"If you'll excuse me, then, I'll go take one." Killian sighed as both of them sat up.

"I'll make coffee, okay?" Emma offered, earning a small smile.

"Thank you, love." Killian replied before rising off the couch and walking upstairs. Emma sighed as she put her head in her hands, staring at all of the paperwork they filled out the night before. There was more than she remembered, causing her to wonder if Killian had done more after she'd fallen asleep. She tidied the coffee table up a little, organizing everything into neat piles.

She finally rose from the couch with a stretch and a yawn, then made her way to the kitchen. She grabbed the coffee from the counter, along with a filter, and started the coffeemaker. She leaned against the counter, closing her eyes as the sweet smell of coffee filled the air. Emma waited for the machine to stop, and when it did, she opened her eyes. Taking their mugs from the cabinet, Emma brought them to the coffee maker and filled them up. She put the right amount of sugar in hers, then Killian's, following with the cream.

"Oh, Emma, that smells delightful." Killian's voice purred from behind her.

"You shower really quickly." Emma noted, watching him plop down in his usual chair at the table.

"I try, love." He sighed, taking his coffee as she set it down, "Thank you."

"Of course." Emma replied, sitting beside him and rubbing his back.

"You know, I... I kind of thought this was coming."

"Oh, Killian, don't-"

"No, just listen." He spoke softly, then sighed, "I knew that when Liam left, he wasn't coming back. He... He told me that he didn't know where he was going, but he knew he'd be on the frontlines. He was in the epicenter of all of it. I just... I really hoped that it wouldn't happen."

"I know." Emma whispered, watching him stir his coffee slowly.

"I just... I feel like I should've cried more, but... The tears are all gone, and they've left me with this empty pit. I feel so numb, so... Empty." Killian sighed, then reached for Emma's hand, "Then I look at you, and I realize... I'm not all empty."

Emma offered a smile, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Like I said earlier, Killian, whatever you're feeling is okay. Today you feel numb, tomorrow you might be sobbing again. Regardless, I'll be right here." Emma promised, "I'll always be here."

Killian didn't even reply-he simply lunged forward and embraced her in a tight hug.

"That means more than anything to me, Emma." Killian whispered.

"I promise I won't leave."

"Not even if it gets ugly?"

"Especially not if it gets ugly." Emma spoke softly, then tugged away. She gazed into his red-rimmed eyes and gently rubbed his cheek.

"Killian, you didn't sleep last night, did you?" Emma asked.

"I couldn't, Emma. I tried falling asleep, so finally I decided to finish the damn paperwork."

"Why didn't you wake me up? I would have stayed up all night with you." Emma sighed.

"That's exactly why I didn't, love. I didn't need to wake you up."

"You're missing the point. I don't care-"

"Emma, I didn't want to bother you, okay? I got some sleep this morning. Probably two hours' worth."

"Killian-"

"I'll catch up tonight, okay?"

"Okay." Emma sighed. The two both jumped when Killian's phone buzzed on the table, and Killian answered it. He sighed into the phone and rose from his seat, grabbing his coffee and kissing Emma's forehead before wandering upstairs into his room.

Shortly after Killian had gone up to his room and Emma had gotten dressed, there was a knock at the door. She walked to open it, only to immediately get tugged into Mary Margaret's arms.

"Hey." Emma sighed, hugging her back tightly. She needed someone aside from Killian to grieve with.

"Mind if I go talk to Killian?" David asked.

"He should be up in his room." Emma replied, tugging away from Mary.

"Do you want to talk?" Mary Margaret asked.

"Yeah," Emma sighed, "I think so."

Emma led her to the kitchen table, where the two sat down.

"Okay, go ahead." Mary spoke softly, setting her hand on Emma's when she noticed how quiet she was being.

"I don't know how to comfort him, Mary. I've never lost anyone-I've never had anyone close enough to lose." Emma sighed, "He was so upset yesterday, and this morning, all he can talk about is how numb he feels. I don't want him to feel numb-I've felt numb, and it's not... It sucks."

"Sometimes, there's nothing you can do, Emma. Sometimes you just need to be there. For Killian, I'm sure that's more than enough." Mary Margaret replied, "I know you want to fix him, and fix the situation, but you can't, Emma. There's no fixing this-it's not your fault that you can't fix it, either. You just... you can't bring him back."

"I know." Emma nodded, biting her quivering lip, "He was just... Before me, Liam was all Killian had. He was Killian's world. What do you tell people who've lost their world, Mary?"

Mary Margaret sighed, squeezing Emma's hand gently.

"You listen to him. You distract him. You do whatever you can to make him and yourself happy. Don't overdo it and end up hurting yourself in the process, but... Killian needs you, whether he's ready to admit that or not. He wouldn't be able to get over this if he was doing this alone."

Emma nodded again, this time allowing tears to fall.

"Liam was one of the best men I ever knew, and... I want to be strong for Killian, but I can't, Mary. I can't be strong when I've lost someone dear to me, too."

"Yes, you can." Mary replied, moving her hand to Emma's arm.

"Liam was the one who talked to the police officer about letting me stay here... I don't want to believe that he's gone." Emma sniffed, "I just feel like... I have no place to be upset, since Killian was his brother, and I was just a friend."

"You may not have known Liam nearly as well as Killian, but you're allowed to be upset about this. He helped you find a better life."

"Emma, love, are you crying?" Killian's voice asked from behind Mary Margaret. She looked up to meet his eyes for only a moment before she found his arms around her body.

"I'm sorry." She whimpered.

"For what, love? You haven't done anything wrong." Killian whispered. Emma just continued to cry, and Killian tried his best to keep his own tears at bay, though they were screaming to be released. He gently tugged away, wiping Emma's tears with a smile.

"Emma, love, David had a great idea-he's invited us go with him and Mary Margaret downtown later this afternoon, after they're all settled in." Killian suggested.

"Really?" Emma asked, yearning to get some fresh air again.

"Of course! We just wanted to get unpacked and refreshed a little before going out again."

"Okay." Emma nodded.

"We'll meet you down at the dock at three?" Killian asked, directing it to David.

"Sure thing, Killian." David smiled.

Mary and David left, leaving Emma and Killian alone again.

"Killian?"

"Yeah?" He asked softly as he threaded his fingers through her hair.

"Is it okay for me to be upset about this, too?"

"Of course it is... You knew Liam as well as I did."

"But, he was your brother. I was just a friend."

"That mattered little. Emma, Liam loved you since he met you. He always used to pester me about asking you out." Killian smiled, making Emma giggle a little, "I promise that if you need to cry, my tears are gone. I can take care of you if you need to cry, or vent, or smash things. Well, maybe not the last one."

Emma let out a quiet laugh again, leaning further into Killian's embrace.

"You know what Liam said to me when we were saying goodbye at the airport?"

"No.."

"He told me that if I take care of you, you'll return the favor." Emma spoke softly, "And he couldn't have been more right."

"That's sweet." Killian whispered.

"You're sweet." Emma replied, earning her a kiss on the temple.

"Well, you've got me all choked up now." He said with a small smile.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." Killian said, "With you, I feel like I can be okay."

"I'm glad to hear that, Killian."

"I think next week will be… harder. With the wake, and the funeral..." Killian sighed, and Emma tugged away, looking directly into his hazy, blue eyes.

"I'll help you, okay? I'll help make this better." Emma sighed, taking his hand in hers, "But, I don't think this will be easy."

"Me either."

"We'll do it together, okay?" Emma spoke with a sad smile.

"Together." Killian spoke, mimicking her smile. He leaned forward to press a kiss to her lips.

* * *

They spent the remainder of the afternoon with Mary and David downtown, forgetting their troubles for only a few hours. Still, Emma could tell that it helped, and she loved seeing Killian smile.

Two days later, a package showed up at the doorstep, with all of Liam's belongings in it. Killian had a hard time with looking at all of his brother's things. Emma tried to comfort him by suggesting that they get shadow boxes for everything, but Killian simply leaned against her arm, his tears dripping onto her shirt. She simply wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace that he latched onto.


	13. June (Part II)

_A/N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I feel like JK Rowling here—Liam's death was pre-planned from the very beginning. I know it hurts, and I'm really, really sorry. I hope you all can find a little solace in Emma's comfort… I know it's absolutely heartbreaking for Killian to go through this, believe me. It was painful to write, and there was a point where I almost deleted all of this and started over. But, I knew this was where the story needed to go, so I did what I needed. Again, I am so, so sorry. Enjoy the last three chapters, okay?_

_Listened to: 'Turning Point' by Audiomachine, 'Story of My Life' by One Direction (shut up), 'In My Veins' by Andrew Belle, & 'Human' by Christina Perri._

* * *

The week of the funeral was difficult. Killian had told his boss what happened, and was given the week off. He spent most of his time in his room, no matter how hard Emma tried to get him to come out. Mary and David visited a few times, usually bringing some sort of food. Killian only came out of his room to eat, or to talk to Emma. David was able to get through to him, having been in a similar situation before.

The morning of the wake was surprisingly kind of easy. Killian was dressed and ready to go by the time Emma woke up and wandered downstairs.

"You look handsome." Emma spoke with a sad smile as she approached him. She set her hands on his shoulders, as if to steady his subtle shaking.

"Thank you." He replied, "I made coffee, if you want some."

"I'd love some." Emma nodded, "But, I wasn't expecting you to be dressed already. Let me go get dressed quickly."

She leaned up on her toes to press a kiss to his forehead, then to his lips.

Emma hurried up the stairs, nearly tripping in her haste. She made her way down to her room, and gently closed the door. The black dress Mary had lent her was lying over the chair of her desk, so Emma picked it up and set it on the end of her bed.

She stripped of her pajamas quickly, then pulled the dress on. It fit better than she thought it would-though, Mary had said it was too big for her, mostly in the length. On Emma, it was close to perfect.

Emma hurriedly did her make up, then went back downstairs. Killian was standing at the window in the kitchen, over the sink, just staring out. He was leaning his hands on the counter, and even from a distance, Emma could see the veins in his hands tensed up.

"Hey." She spoke softly, wrapping her arms around him from behind and setting her head on his back.

"It's raining." Killian said, "Liam always said it was a sailor's warning."

"Warning for what?"

"Rough waters." Killian deadpanned. Emma sighed and gently reached her hand down to set it on Killian's.

They were silent for a few minutes, holding onto each other tight, as if at any moment, one would slip away.

There was a knock at the door, causing Emma to furrow her brows.

"Were we expecting anyone?" She asked, tugging away as he took his hands off the counter.

"Yes... My mum." Killian sighed. Emma made a small 'o' with her lips, looking up to Killian.

"Do you want me to come with?"

"Would you, love?" He asked, to which Emma nodded. He took her hand and led her to the door, cautiously opening it and revealing his mother.

"Killian." She breathed as soon as she saw him.

"Hi." He replied softly. She tried to lean in and hug him, but he instead took a step back, feigning it as inviting her in. The woman nodded, then stepped in carefully.

"I'm Emma Swan, by the way." Emma spoke with a smile, breaking the silence and offering her hand.

"Anne Jones... Killian's mother." She replied with an accent just as thick as Killian's, shaking Emma hand gently.

"Would you like some coffee, since we don't have to leave until later?" Killian asked, to which his mother nodded. She followed the two into the kitchen, sitting at the table, beside Emma. Emma could feel her eyes staring at her, but she didn't want to look.

"So, Emma," Anne started, "How did you meet Killian?"

"Through detention." Emma spoke simply, earning a glare from Killian, "And, he was in a few of my classes last semester."

"I see." His mother said, smiling when her son set a mug in front of her. He sat beside Emma, taking her hand protectively.

"Killian, can we please drop all of the drama? I'm not here for that, and neither are you. We're here for Liam." Anne said with a sigh, "I know you're angry, but-"

"Let's talk later." Killian said, taking a sip of his coffee and pressing a kiss to Emma's temple.

"Okay." Anne replied quietly.

* * *

The rest of their coffee break was incredibly awkward, and all Emma wanted was for it to end. It finally did when she and Killian drove separately from Anne.

"Killian, you have to forgive her at some point. She's your mom." Emma said.

"She left us with our alcoholic father. That's not exactly motherly."

"Well, no, but, she could have another reason that maybe you don't know about." Emma said, then rubbed his shoulder, "All I'm saying is... Just, don't push her away. She wants to help."

"Coming from the one who never wants help." Killian grumbled.

"Killian." Emma spoke firmly, "I'm not saying you have to be entirely submissive and become a mama's boy. I'm just saying that you need to give her a chance."

Killian chewed the inside of his lip, knowing Emma was right.

"She deserves a second chance, Killian." Emma said.

"I can't give her that right now."

"You don't have to. Just... Know that she doesn't want to hurt you. I'm nearly certain that she simply wants to be a part of your life again."

Killian clenched his jaw, making Emma sigh and lean over to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she settled back into her seat.

"I don't know." Killian said.

"I'll be right next to you, okay?" Emma spoke softly, "I promise."

"Thank you, love." Killian replied, "I don't know how I'd get through this without you."

"You would get through it just fine." Emma assured him as he pulled into a parking spot. He put the car in park, then leaned over, cupping Emma's cheek, and kissing her gently.

After they pulled away, Emma met Killian's eyes, as if to ask if he was okay.

"Is it weird that I'm glad they couldn't find his body?" Killian asked.

"No, I don't think so... If he was in there, I think that would make this much harder." Emma replied. Killian leaned his head against the seat, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Emma set her hand on his, giving it a gentle squeeze. His dark, ocean eyes opened, meeting Emma's.

"Let's go in, okay? I'll be right next to you." Emma reminded him. He nodded, and the two finally got out of the car.

* * *

The service was still difficult. Emma tried her hardest not to cry, especially when David and Mary came to hug them. David's hug was incredibly warm and comforting, which Emma didn't realize she needed. The service wasn't long, but it was definitely not easy. The hardest part for Emma was watching Killian cry with each person's condolences and hugs.

After the service, Emma went to meet Mary, since she had some friends she wanted Emma to meet. She vaguely recognized the girl from school, and the boy from some of her classes.

"Regina." The girl spoke in a tone that rubbed Emma the wrong way as she shook her hand.

"Don't mind her-she's a bit upset. She knew Liam quite well." The boy spoke with a forgiving smile, "My name is Robin."

"I'm Emma." She replied softly, shaking his hand, "Do you know Killian?"

"He and I had an interesting friendship at the start of high school, but we haven't spoken recently." Robin said.

"Maybe once all of this settles down, we could all go on a group date." Mary suggested, clasping her hands together.

"I think Killian would like that." Emma nodded, forcing a smile, "Speaking of which, I'd better go. It was really nice meeting both of you."

"Lovely meeting you, too." Robin grinned before Emma turned on her heel and started towards Killian's car. She tried protecting herself from getting soaked in the rain, to no avail.

"Sorry, Mary Margaret wanted me to meet some friends of hers." Emma sighed as she got into the car. Killian nodded from the passenger seat, not lifting his eyes from his lap. Emma started the car and pulled out of the parking spot carefully, sending them on their way home.

Once they got back to the house, Killian went straight up to his room, causing Emma to sigh. She didn't know what to do, so she sat at the kitchen table and stared down at her phone. She chewed her lip before turning her phone on and opening up her camera. She took a picture of a clearly fake frown, then sent to to Killian with the caption: "You okay up there?".

Killian: Yes, love. Thank you.

Emma: You can be honest.

K: I was being honest.

E: I'm really good at catching lies.

K: Even over texts?

E: Yep.

E: I have a pretty specific skillset.

K: Do you now?

E: I sure do.

E: Now, stop avoiding my question. Are you really okay?

K: ...

K: No.

E: Want me to come up? We could talk, or cuddle, or... something.

K: I think I'd like that.

Emma skidded the chair out from under herself, hurrying to the stairs as she tried pulling her heels off. She darted up the stairs and into Killian's room, pausing at the door when she saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, looking out the window.

"Kill?" She asked softly. He turned his head slowly, and Emma could tell from where she was standing that his lip was quivering. So, with a sigh, she went to sit beside him. He immediately turned into her arms, letting out a sob that had clearly been waiting to burst.

"I can't believe he's gone, Emma." Killian sobbed, "I'm sorry, I can't stop-"

"Killian, it's okay." Emma whispered, gripping him tight, "Please don't be sorry."

"I love you, Emma." Killian cried, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Emma replied, holding the back of his head to her shoulder. She tried to tug him as close to her body as she could to try and ease the pain.

"Emma, I can't do this, I can't go tomorrow."

"I'll be right beside you, Killian." Emma whispered.

"I can't talk about him, Emma, not without crying." Killian whimpered.

"Maybe that's okay." Emma replied, tugging away enough to see his glassed-over eyes, "Killian, everyone knows how close you two were. If you start crying, let it happen. You don't have to be strong."

"I do. For him." Killian replied softly.

"Killian, crying won't make you any less strong for him. Don't be strong for him. Be strong for yourself." Emma whispered, wiping at his tears, "Just don't psych yourself out. Your eulogy is beautiful, Killian. You worked so hard on it."

"I can't say it. Not in front of all of those people." He spoke softly with the shake of his head.

"I know you can, Killian." Emma replied, gently setting her hand on his cheek, "You never back down from anything, and you know that. Always up for a challenge, remember?"

Killian offered a wet laugh, nodding a little at Emma's correct statement.

"Yes, I remember." He spoke with a sad smile. Emma grinned and wiped some of his tears away.

"Want me to fix you something? I mean, you haven't really eaten anything today." Emma said, "It's close to four."

"I'm honestly not that hungry." Killian shrugged. Emma sighed, brushing some of his thick hair back.

"You still need to eat something." Emma said, nudging his shoulder, "C'mon, let's go downstairs. Even if you just eat some toast, it'll still be something in your system."

"Thank you, love."

"For what?"

"Looking out for me." Killian spoke with his signature half-smile. Emma's lips mimicked the smile, moving her hand from his hair to his shoulder.

"I'll always look out for you." Emma smiled, rising off the bed and offering her hand, like he had done for her a thousand times over.

"Thank you, love." Killian spoke softly, taking her hand and following her out of his room. Killian squeezed her hand a little as he followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"So, what do you want?" Emma smiled, letting go of his hand at the table.

"Do we have any eggs?" Killian asked, continuing to follow her.

"Killian, go sit. I'll do this." Emma grinned, blushing as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"No, love, I can't sit still anymore. I have to do something."

Emma turned to face him, blinking slowly. Her smile faded as he tugged her closer, leaning into his arms and wrapping hers around his body.

"You want to help?" Emma asked, looking up to meet his eyes.

"If you'll allow it."

"Of course." Emma spoke with a soft laugh. He pulled away after pressing his lips to Emma's lips quickly, then walking to the fridge and grabbing the carton of eggs.

"Mind if I change into something a bit more comfortable before we start?" Killian asked, setting the eggs on the counter.

"No, and I might actually change, too, then." Emma replied.

"Perfect." He smiled, taking her hand and leading her to the stairs. She hurried to keep up, smiling at his change of heart. Emma knew he would be okay eventually, but that it would definitely take time.

"Meet you downstairs in a few moments, love." Killian said, pressing a kiss to her cheek and walking into his room. She smiled a little to herself as she sauntered down the hall, turning into her room and shutting the door. Emma quickly slipped out of the dress and yanked some yoga leggings from a drawer. She tossed on an old tee that she didn't remember owning, one with a worn-out anchor on it, then hurried down the hall.

Once she got downstairs, she found Killian already in the kitchen, cracking some eggs. He wore baggy sweats and a navy shirt that was just a little too tight. Emma couldn't help but think it was incredibly too attractive for what it was.

"Killian, let me do that. Go sit." Emma ordered, shooing him.

"Can I stand behind you?" He asked, setting the egg he was holding back into the carton.

"If you want." Emma replied, smiling when he snaked his arms around her from behind, setting his chin on her shoulder.

She cracked the eggs in silence, smiling after Killian leaned his head against hers. He clung to her as she busied around the kitchen—grabbing the frying pan, spatula, and some other ingredients. With every move, Killian was a half-step behind her.

"Mm. Smells absolutely delicious." Killian purred into Emma's ear and catching her off-guard. She jumped at the sound of his voice before quickly relaxing into his arms once more. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, making Emma smile at the scruff that gently scraped against her soft cheek.

"I'm glad you're getting your appetite back." Emma noted.

"Me too." Killian sighed.

"Well, let go of me so we can actually eat." Emma giggled.

"We can't eat like this?"

"I don't know how comfortable it'd be." Emma smiled, "Why don't we lie on the couch?"

"Omelets on the couch? Sounds perfect." Killian grinned, removing one hand from Emma's waist to grab his plate. He hurried to the couch, making Emma laugh as she followed. He sat down carefully, then laid himself out, patting the spot next to him for Emma.

"Come lie down, love." He grinned.

"Come lie down, love." Emma mimicked, making Killian laugh at her horrible attempt on his accent.

"After all these months, I thought you'd have nailed it by now." Killian smiled, taking a bite of his omelet.

"You'd think." Emma replied, nudging his arm, "You okay?"

"I think so. For now."

"I'll accept that." Emma spoke with a small smile, snuggling into his side. He dropped a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering.

The two ate their omelets mostly in silence, until Killian went to go throw away their plates. Emma sat up on the couch, glancing to the clock and noticing that it was nearing five. She stretched, yelping when Killian came up and poked her side.

"Hey!" She laughed as he plopped beside her. He fell forward, laying his head on her lap, making her smile. His hand gently slipped up her side, gently rubbing her side. Heat bubbled in her stomach, a feeling that she adored.

"Mm, love." Killian whispered.

Emma smiled, mussing Killian's hair and nearly pulling away, until he moved his hand on top of hers, keeping it there.

"You're like a dog." Emma giggled, continuing to massage her fingers into his scalp.

"But it feels so good." He murmured in bliss against her leg. Emma rolled her eyes, looking down at the man she loved. He was broken, but Emma was determined to help him pick up the pieces.

"Love?"

"Yes?" Emma whispered.

"I love you so much."

"I know." Emma spoke with a half-smile, "I love you, too."

"Thank you for staying." Killian whispered, nuzzling his face into her lap.

"Thank you for letting me."

He smiled, pressing a kiss to her hip. Emma continued ruffling his hair, entirely messing up his previously gelled hair.

"Mm, this is a good look for you." Emma smiled, breaking into a quiet laugh.

"Yeah?" He asked, sitting up and smiling. His hair was sticking up in every direction, making Emma smile.

"Perfect." She grinned, fixing it a little.

"You know what would be nice right now, love?"

"What?" Emma smiled.

"A bath."

"If you want to go take one, that's—"

"Love, you know what I meant." Killian smiled, raising an eyebrow the way he always did. Emma's cheeks flushed bright red, causing her to look down, then back up to Killian's blue eyes.

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"If that'll make you feel better—"

"I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"It won't be. I'd be glad to take a bath—"

There was a knock at the door, causing both teens to look to it.

"Why is she back?" Killian grumbled, rising off the couch. Emma was quick to rise to her feet, hurrying after him and grabbing his arm. He turned on his heel, rolling his eyes as he meet Emma's.

"Killian, don't push her away." Emma spoke softly, "She just wants to help."

"She wants to take me away from here, Emma, from my home!" Killian yelled.

"Killian, calm down, take a deep breath." Emma whispered, setting her hand on his shoulder, "Don't shove people away, please."

"She wants to take me away from here, Emma." Killian whimpered, "Liam is still here, Liam—"

"Killian, breathe." Emma spoke softly, wiping away the tears that had formed in his eyes.

His mother knocked again, causing him to shake his head.

"I can't."

"Go wash up. I'll keep her occupied, okay?" Emma asked, causing Killian to nod. She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead, then lowered a little to kiss his lips.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Emma spoke with a small smile, pushing him towards the stairs, then walking to the door. She opened it, forcing a smile to Killian's estranged mother.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, taking a few steps forward and causing Emma to take a few back.

"No, nothing's wrong, Killian's still upset." Emma stammered.

"Why are you lying to me?" Anne asked, taking one more step.

"I'm not." Emma replied, "He's upset, he's upstairs cleaning up."

Anne looked Emma up and down, pursing her lips. She glanced around the house with the same expression before looking back to Emma.

"Killian needs to live in a better home than this." Anne said.

"He's fine here." Emma said, "This was where he spent the most time with Liam. This house is important to him."

"Funny, that you're saying that." Anne spoke with a fake smile, "He hated his father."

"He hated that you left him." Emma spoke in his defense.

"He made that choice himself."

"Why would he choose to stay with a man he's told me he hated?" Emma said with narrowed eyes.

"He only stayed because Liam did." Anne snarled, "He wanted to stay with his brother."

"Somehow, I don't buy that you gave either of them a choice." Emma replied, crossing her arms over her chest, "He's happy here, just leave him alone."

"He doesn't know what is good for him. He's only seventeen."

"Look," Emma snarled, "He's happy. Isn't that what you want for your son?"

"How could he be happy with a girl like you?" Anne asked, "You're nothing but a street rat."

"Do not call me that." Emma snapped, "Killian loves me. He won't choose between us, just so you know."

"I know what's best for my son." Anne snapped.

"How? You weren't there when he was hurt. You know who was? Liam. But, he isn't here, and I'm the next best thing he's got. I love him more than I've ever loved anything in my life. Believe me, I know what it feels like to be left alone. Don't make him choose."

Anne stood in disbelief at Emma's words, trying to uncomprehending it all.

"He needs his mother-"

"What he needs is time." Emma interrupted.

"Who?" Killian's voice asked as he descended the stairs.

"Killian, dear, please explain to your girlfriend that it was your choice to live with your father." Anne said.

Killian furrowed his brows, moving to stand beside Emma.

"No, no, it wasn't my choice—" Killian spoke, his voice growing louder with each word, "—I didn't have a choice! You left me with him! I was lucky that I had Liam!"

"Killian, darling—"

"What did you tell Emma?" Killian ordered, yielding no response, "What did you tell her?"

Emma looked down, trying to keep Anne's words out of her head.

"I told her nothing but the truth." Anne replied primly, "I thought you would have chosen better."

"Don't you ever speak of her like that again." Killian snarled, taking a step forward, "Emma is my love, my everything. Nothing you say or do will change that."

"You are seventeen, Killian. I have all rights to say how you live your life." Anne snapped. Killian wrapped his arm around Emma's shoulders, assuring her that he would make everything okay again.

"I am an adult. I do not need anyone, least of all my mother who abandoned me, telling me what to do." Killian growled, "Leave."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said_ leave_. I don't want to see you anymore." Killian spoke firmly.

"Kill-"

"I was plenty happy without you in my life. Now, leave." Killian snarled, "I will call the cops if you don't."

Anne faked a smile, covering her hurt as she took a few steps back and opened the door. She let herself out, never quite breaking eye contact with Killian.

"Are you alright, love? She didn't hurt you, did she?" Killian asked after turning to Emma. She shook her head solemnly, causing him to furrow his brows.

"Emma, love, please." Killian whispered, earning only the shake of her head. A sigh escaped his lips as he tugged her close, feeling her irregular breathing.

"Shh... Don't cry, love. Whatever she said is entirely untrue. I promise." Killian murmured.

"That's not why I'm crying." Emma sniffled, tugging away.

"Then, what's wrong?" Killian asked, causing Emma to shake her head, "Love, what did she say to you?"

"She said I wasn't good enough for you." Emma whimpered, finally allowing a sob to break free. Killian caught her in his arms, wrapping his hand around the back of her head and tugging her close.

"Oh, love." Killian whispered, "You know she's entirely wrong. You are more than enough for me. If anything, I'm not good enough for you, love."

"Please don't say that. You know you're more than enough." Emma sighed. Killian took a deep breath, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before hugging her tighter.

Killian vowed to himself to never let his mother near Emma again. He had to protect her.


End file.
